What to Unexpect
by KennedyHarlow
Summary: Light has outgrown being Kira, and decided to take an extended vacation with L. Their personalities strain the relationship, but how will that play out when the possibility of a baby arises? LightxL, Yaoi, mpreg.
1. Sick

_Chapter Summary: In this first chapter, Light and L are living together, but it's really more of a vacation than a serious relationship. Light becomes concerned that L is inexplicably ill all the time, and the situation is complicated by L's uncooperative attitude._

_Objectionable Material: This chapter contains no inappropriate language, violence, or sexual content; however, due to its theme it would be rated T._

_Disclaimer: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**I. Sick**

Light awoke in early in the morning, while it was still dark out, unsure of why. He looked to his left and saw that L was not there.

"No, not again," he muttered to himself. The bathroom light shone from beneath the door.

It had been going on for more than a week.

Everything had been going so well; Some time during the investigation, Light had recognized his desire to be god of the new world was delusional and misguided. The realization seemed to coincide with a strange development of feelings for the man in charge of the investigation.

He asked that the notebook be taken back to the shinigami world. He never officially gave up ownership, but he was simply not active as Kira anymore. He had outgrown it. The killings stopped, and the investigation wrapped up. When L invited him to come to Paris for a while to help with a new case, he wondered if L also felt there was something between them. His suspicions were confirmed when it turned out there was no case to work on. Clever L.

…But then this had started happening.

"Hey," he tapped on the door lightly. "Ryuzaki." He could hear him getting sick in the bathroom. "Hey, open the door." Light knocked again.

"N-no, I'm fine. Go back to sleep," L's weak voice sounded from inside.

"Come on, Ryuzaki. Open the door!" Why did he have to make everything so difficult?

"Just leave me alone, please."

_Fine, we'll do this the hard way_. Light went to the closet where he kept a set of tools and retrieved a screw driver. He had prepared for this the first time L locked him out of the bathroom. He knelt down and removed the screws from the door handle, and dislodged it, letting the door swing open.

"It's okay. Just go back to bed," L stammered.

Light's anger immediately turned to pity. He knelt behind L, where he sat huddled in front of the toilet, looking paler than usual and shivering violently.

"No, I'll stay with you," he said, stroking the back of L's head.

L resisted comfort during his weaker moments, but Light noticed that when it was forced on him, he seemed to benefit from it.

They sat together for a few minutes, the silence broken only by L's heavy breathing. "Maybe you're done?" Light proposed.

L shook his head. "I feel really sick, but my body seems to intend to drag this out."

"I'll get you some water," Light said, moving to the sink. He took their toothbrushes out of a glass, filled it with water, and handed it to his suffering companion.

L shuddered as he took a sip. Even his mouth was resisting allowing anything down his throat, but he forced himself to swallow anyway, swiftly gulping down the entire glass. It felt truly awful, but it did the trick, making him finish emptying his stomach almost instantly.

Light helped him clean up and brush his teeth, and took him back to bed. L lay curled in a ball as Light soothingly rubbed his back.

"We need to take you to the doctor," Light said. "This has been going on too long to be a virus. There might be something really wrong with you."

"It's just the food here… or the water… it doesn't agree with me."

"This isn't a third world country!" Light said. "You haven't been able to keep anything down for over a week. You're losing weight." When L didn't respond, Light concluded, "We are going to the doctor tomorrow."


	2. Expecting the Unexpected

_Chapter Summary__: In this chapter, L describes his illness to a doctor, who informs him of its unexpected cause and of ways to alleviate his symptoms. On a related note, Light and L are faced with a decision that makes them evaluate their relationship._

_Objectionable Material__: MPEG is introduced in this chapter. There are also vague references to sexual concepts (nothing described graphically, or even directly). I would rate this chapter… T+ if there is such a thing._

__Disclaimer: _Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**II. Expecting the Unexpected**

Light insisted on a Japanese doctor; his French was limited, and even though his English was quite good, L still might be able to mis-translate complicated medical dialogue.

"How long have you been getting sick?" The doctor asked.

"A little over a week."

"Often?"

"…All the time," L admitted. "Pretty much whenever I eat something."

"What is your diet like?"

"Normal, I suppose."

"THAT is not true," Light said vehemently. "He eats an inordinate amount of sugar. Although, I doubt that's the problem because it has never made him sick before."

The doctor made a note on his clipboard. "Are you two a couple?"

"…Yes, I guess you could say that," Light said. He frowned. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Oh," the doctor looked up from his notes. "It just tells me how much you know about his habits, and so on. We'll run some preliminary tests now."

When the doctor returned, he said, "Well I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're not sick."

"What's the bad news?"

"You're pregnant."

"What?" Light said. "That's not possible."

The doctor shook his head. "Oh it's possible. It's not common, but its one of those things that happens now and then. Trust me, I'm a medical professional, you'll have to accept my word for it."

L looked terrified. "How?"

"Well, what sort of things have you been letting him do to you…?"

Light stood up, and shouted. "You're telling me you can get another guy pregnant by…" His voice trailed off.

The doctored paused for a moment. "…Yes."

Light collected himself and sat back down. "Okay, even if I accept he's pregnant and this is morning sickness, it's still a problem he's already lost a few pounds."

The doctor explained, "The pregnancy might be causing his body to reject high amounts of sugar that he could normally handle. Cut back on the sweets and you should see improvement, though it might not entirely go away. You should decide whether you want to follow through with the pregnancy, and make a follow up appointment either way."

* * *

><p>When they returned home, L sat on the couch, and stared at the wall of their spacious, modern apartment. How had this happened?<p>

Light sat down next to him, and nuzzled his neck. "What's wrong?" he asked, wrapping his arms around L and pulling him awkwardly into his lap. "Why are you pouting?" He kissed the top of L's head, then shifted and continued smothering him with kisses and caresses.

"What are you so happy about?" L asked bitterly.

"I'm glad that you're not sick!" Light said. "I was worried you had cancer or something!"

"Really? Is that the only reason?"

"Alright, fine! I'm happy about the pregnancy, okay? I didn't want to say anything because it's your decision whether you want to go through with it… But if you must know, I think it's great."

He couldn't read L's expression. _Typical_, he though. _Just like when he was investigating me._

"Look…" Light glanced away, suddenly having trouble finding the words. "I think you're my soul mate," he said at last. "I realized that a while ago, and when I did, I assumed I wouldn't have a child. If you don't feel the same way about me, none of this matters… but if you do? I think we should go through with it."

Again, the blank expression.

Light continued, "And if you aren't sure enough to have the child, that doesn't mean that we can't stay together and, perhaps try again later." He paused. "Take some time to think about it. I just wanted you to know how I felt… that I love you."

* * *

><p>L went to bed early, exhausted from the day's drama. He lay alone under a layer of fluffy covers, trying to sleep but unable to take his mind off the decision he had to make.<p>

_Raito-kun is the only person I've ever felt this close to…_

He'd been mildly attracted to other people before- women even- but he had always felt he had a low sex drive, so he never understood the amount of effort others put into finding a partner. He could take it or leave it.

But then he had met Light. There was first a mental fascination with the young man; he had never met anyone so smart. Then, while chained together during the investigation, an emotional closeness developed. They talked late into the night, waiting to fall asleep. It was the first time someone one wanted to hear his opinion on anything unrelated to work. Sometime after that, he discovered what it was like to feel helplessly physically attracted to someone- an experience that truthfully made him anxious. He found himself fantasizing about Light, and afflicted with the urge to… engage in habits he seldom indulged before. In a way he felt disgusted with himself, but at times, like when he gazed at Light sleeping peacefully, there was something pure about it as well. And when he slowly recognized that Light perhaps cared for him as well, the shame lifted, and more and more he felt fulfilled in a way he never realized how much he needed.

Light was the perfect person for him. Why had he spent so much time thinking this over?

"Raito-kun," He called, sitting up in bed. " I need to tell you something."


	3. Some Changes Around Here

_Chapter Summary__: Light resolves to take care of L during the pregnancy. They also speculate as to when it could have occurred, and we get a pretty good idea, with a flashback to their first sexual encounters. We also see the emotional significance of the experiences._

_Objectionable Material__: This chapter contains same-sex sexual content, anal play, and … hesitant consent? ("Anxiety" is probably more accurate). Adult material for sure, but nothing creepy. Rated M._

__Disclaimer: _Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**III. Some Changes Around Here**

The next morning, L awoke to Light straddling over him, grinning widely.

"Good morning, Ryuzaki" he said cheerfully. "How are you feeling?"

L rubbed his eyes. "Good… not sick at all. Hungry, actually." He hadn't eaten anything the day before, and the lack of sugar probably allowed his stomach to recover.

"Well, that's perfect because I made you breakfast." He lifted a tray off the nightstand and placed it on L's lap. It was a Japanese style breakfast with rice, miso soup, fish, and pickled vegetables.

"A thinly veiled attempt to make me eat healthy?"

"Exactly," Light said. "You have to start taking better care of our baby, so I'm going to start taking better care of you. No more éclairs or fruit tarts or crepes or… whatever."

"Fruit tarts are healthy."

"You ate five- literally FIVE- the day we got here."

L counted; One at the airport, two at the bakery near the apartment when they arrived, one after dinner for dessert… and then Light's as well because he didn't want it. Damn it, it _was_ five. "I hadn't had one in a long time!" L defended.

"You still haven't had _one_ in a long time. You have no concept of moderation. Last week you had three cups of hot chocolate, and two mille-feuille instead of lunch. Quite honestly, you're lucky you threw up most of it. Now open up," Light said, holding a spoon of rice and fish to his mouth.

L had to concede that once he started eating proper meals, he felt much better. He was actually able to keep down his food, and coupled with the fact that it was healthy food, he had significantly more energy. To Light's relief, he quickly gained back the weight he had lost.

"I'm going to become fat," L complained.

Light responded by grasping his boney hip. "I doubt that."

* * *

><p>L woke late one morning. He had always found it difficult to sleep in. In fact, he had generally found it difficult to sleep deeply at all, and often tossed and turned, resting only in short intervals. But lately Light had been going to such efforts to keep him relaxed, that he found he could sleep comfortably through the night. He had never attributed his habits to stress, believing that he controlled every aspect of his life and therefor had no reason to feel stressed. Perhaps that was not the case…<p>

He ambled out into the kitchen, and found Light sitting at the table already dressed, glancing over a pamphlet about nearby museums.

"Is that for me?" He asked, eying a grapefruit covered in honey placed in front of his usual seat.

Light nodded. Then he asked, "Ryuzaki, how long do you think you have been pregnant?"

L sat down at the table. "I have no way of knowing that."

"Well, truthfully, I think it may have happened the first time we had sex."

* * *

><p>The mutual attraction formed during the investigation, but they hadn't acted on it until the case closed and they came to Paris. Although, they didn't actually have sex then. They attempted to the first night, eager to slake their desire. They kissed and touched for hours, giving into all the things they had imagined doing to each other for so long. For L, a new world of pleasure was opening up, and he wanted to experience all it had to offer. Light manipulated his body so well, every touch bringing him closer to the release he ached for.<p>

He hadn't objected when Light took out a bottle of lubricant and guided him onto his knees. Being in the exposed, vulnerable position made him tingle with anticipation. He could hear Light slicking lubricant onto himself, then he felt his buttocks being spread, and the tip of Light's cock being pressed right against his opening. A shudder passed through his body at the contact.

"Are you ready?" Light panted into his ear. He foolishly claimed he was.

L had been worried that penetration might make him orgasm instantly, as he had never experienced it before. But as Light pushed inside him, that fear vanished and was replaced by mind splitting pain.

He let out a choked cry, and Light stopped instantly.

"What's wrong?" he asked, quickly. "Am I hurting you?"

L nodded, with his hand pressed over his mouth, and tears leaking involuntarily from his eyes.

"I'm so sorry," Light said, beginning to pull out.

"Slowly!" L pleaded.

They lay in the dark, L trying to hide the fact that he had been crying.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't realize it would hurt you so much. I've never done it before like this, either." Light was gently stroking L's hair, but attempting to give him space.

After that, L didn't seem up for any more experimentation; they regressed to kissing and cuddling and falling asleep in each others arms, but never progressed any further. When Light could bear it no longer and determined he had been more than appropriately patient, he resorted to sneakier tactics. L wouldn't come out say what was bothering him, but he clearly sulked and shied away from Lights attempts to heighten their intimacy. Perhaps some old tricks would work…

He convinced L to come to a movie with him.

"A date?" L asked.

"Yes, a date."

He didn't even remember what they saw because when the previews started, he began to focus his attention on the man sulking next to him. HE started out by innocently reaching over the armrest and clasping his hand, threading their fingers together. Then he progressed to stroking his fingers lightly up and down L's forearm. The other was pretending not to notice, popping sour candies into his mouth with his free hand, but Light saw the goose bumps rising on his arm.

Mid-way through the movie, Light leaned over and kissed him gently on his exposed neck. The first kiss was soft and quick and non-suggestive, but he kept his mouth hovering near L's neck, letting his breath fall on the sensitive skin. After a moment he placed another one, this one a little deeper and harder. On the third one, he opened his mouth and scraped his teeth against the smooth skin, then massaged the spot with his tongue. L shivered slightly.

Light wrapper his arms around L and continued kissing him all over his neck, letting the action become hungrier and hungrier. L was still sitting stiffly, but Light could feel his chest rising and falling heavily.

This would certainly work, he decided. He assumed L had never had a sexual experience before, and he hadn't actually gotten off during their previous attempt. He probably had more pent up sexual tension than Light did.

Light moved away from the neck he had been devouring, and tilted L's face towards him, pressing their lips together. He could tell the other wanted it too by the way he reacted, whimpering slightly, kissing back eagerly. Light coaxed L's mouth open and pushed his tongue inside, tasting the warmth and wetness of that orifice.

They sat there in the theatre making out, grasping each other, not even looking at the screen, until Light put into action the last part of his plan. He untangled his arm from where it was wrapped around L's narrow waist. Slowly, he slid his hand around to the front of L's body, and between his legs. L jerked as Light cupped his erection through his jeans, and massaged it sensuously. L was noticeably resisting the temptation to grind into his hand, and Light could clearly see that he had opened his legs, perhaps subconsciously, giving him full access. Light pressed firmly, sliding his hand up and down.

He didn't want to give L time to cool off and freak out, so when the movie ended, he rushed outside to get a cab, and continued his seduction in the back seat, much to the driver's dismay.

After practically yanking L upstairs by the arm, he flung open the door, and they stumbled, kissing, towards the bedroom. He pushed him down onto the bed, and crawled on top of him pinning him there. He pulled off L's shirt, exposing the angular body that may have been unappealing to most, but to him was beautiful. L stared up at him, his cautious expression illuminated by the dim glow of a lamp at the far end of the room, his pale chest heaving up and down, making him seem strained and weak… captive. Light bent down and kissed him again, allowing him to link his arms over Light's shoulders.

Light reached down, fluidly unbuttoning and unzipping his partner's pants and roughly pushing them and his boxers down off his hips. He yanked the material away, freeing L's cock, which was stiff from the hours of foreplay, leaking drops of pre-cum.

After rubbing him through his clothes all evening, Light finally satisfied him with a firm grasp. The skin to skin contact on his engorged member made L moan pitifully. Light began pumping rhythmically, and he arched his back and curled his toes. He would finally get the release he had needed for weeks… months? How long had he waited for something like this?

Light expertly used his free hand to feel around under his pillow for the bottle of lube. He carefully opened the cap and held the bottle behind his back, attempting, difficultly, to squeeze lube all over his fingers without drawing attention to it.

He slid his finger between L's buttocks and gently pressed against his opening.

L stopped panting, and seemed to come back to reality. "Raito…" he said hesitantly.

Light thrust one finger inside, and L gasped sharply. "Raito, stop!" He flinched, and tried to sit up. "It hurts."

Light leaned over him, guiding him back down on the bed, nuzzling his ear. "It wont hurt if you relax," he said softly.

"No… please stop."

Light held perfectly still. "Alright. If you really want me to stop, I will, but try to get used to it first. If you still don't like it, I'll never bring it up again." He caught L's ear lobe between his teeth and tugged on it. "But if I can make you cum this way, you have to let me try more things on you."

"Cum which way?"

"One hand behind my back." He released his grip on L's softening erection, and literally put his hand behind his back. "Only this," he said, gently thrusting his finger deeper inside.

"That seems like a pretty safe bet," L muttered.

"We'll see." Light said. His warm breath fell on L's skin as he trailed his mouth down to the man's protruding collarbone. He noticed L shiver as he traced the tip of his tongue over all the sensitive places he could find. He kept his finger still for the time being.

L seemed to be heating up again, as Light kissed his chest and stomach. He was hard again, the tip of his erection torturously brushing against Light's chest, without further contact.

Light began moving his finger slightly, rubbing L from the inside, gently exploring the soft flesh of his body. He took L's nipple between his lips and sucked it gently.

"You're cheating," L said breathily. "You said only your finger."

"I said no such thing," Light murmured, his lips brushing against the nipple. "I said one hand behind my back. You need to listen more carefully."

L scowled. It hardly mattered, though. Despite the increasing pleasure, he doubted he could cum from this type of stimulation alone.

"Doesn't it feel better now that you're relaxed?" Light asked, dragging his tongue over the tense muscles of L's stomach. He was able to slide his finger almost all the way in and out now, and every time he thrust back in, he could feel L contract and tighten responsively. What a fun game, controlling him this way…

He hadn't even hit the most sensitive spot yet, though he had slid his finger over it casually, sending tingling tremors of pleasure down L's spine.

_How can he not know that I'm going to win?_ Light wondered, grinning to himself. Surely the reclusive detective had never been touched this way before, but how limited was his knowledge? Perhaps he didn't understand the pleasure his body was capable of experiencing.

"Ryuzaki, I have one more trick up my sleeve, but I'm going to warn you that I'm definitely going to win our bet." He slid his finger down until he could feel the prostate through the slick wall of L's inside. He rubbed his finger in light circles over it, savoring the moment before his victory, then pressed down firmly.

L gasped violently, arching his back off the bed.

"Yes…" Light whispered. He released the pressure for a moment, letting L catch his breath. L stared up at him, wide-eyed, panting, almost afraid. Light pressed into the spot again, causing L to cry out involuntarily, and tense his entire body.

Light had never seen him like this- panting, groaning uncontrollably, hair damp with sweat, face flushed… totally unable to control his reactions as he might have wanted to. And Light was grateful for that because the sight was beautiful.

Light rubbed rhythmically at the spot, expertly stimulating it, as L struggled to speak.

"Raito… I- I'm going to cum."

Light didn't say anything, only grinned and continued stroking, bringing on L's inevitable orgasm. He placed his hand over L's cock, pressing it down against the detective's pale stomach. The dark haired man moaned and tilted his head back as the thrusting and pressing inside him reached its peak. His entire body tensed and warm liquid to spilled out underneath Light's hand.

"I win," Light whispered into his ear.

* * *

><p>In the time since their first failed attempt, things had changed. Light wasn't sure when exactly- perhaps it wasn't even until he saw L laying exposed, experiencing pleasure for the first time with another person. But for whatever reason, his desire for L had evolved. It was no longer a forbidden interest to be consummated; it was a deep longing and a driving need.<p>

The mystery of L had become clearer. He was a genius, but he didn't understand himself. He had so many good qualities and remarkable accomplishments, but he was conspicuously missing experiences common to almost all others. He was an incomplete person.

It was this realization that finally let Light articulate his fascination, several weeks later.

"I want to make you whole," he said, as they lay in bed together, both awake in the dark. When the words escaped his mouth, he regretted it, worrying it sounded like a cheap line, or total non-sense, even though he meant it with all his heart.

But a short while later, the two were entangled, kissing, making love, L sitting in Light's lap with his legs hooked around Light's waist, as the latter grasped his hips and thrust into him fervently.

L had understood.


	4. Sharp Pains

_Chapter Summary__: A brief chapter where Light forces L to attend a follow up doctors visit. L thinks it's unnecessary, and dislikes it the entire time._

_Objectionable Material__: An invasive medical examination, and some sexual humor. T+_

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**IV. Sharp Pains**

Light revealed why he had asked about the timeline of the pregnancy; L had an appointment with the doctor, who might be interested in this information.

L protested. He didn't want to see the doctor, and he couldn't see why it was necessary; he felt fine as far as he could tell. He didn't need to be subjected to uncomfortable or embarrassing examinations. But Light insisted.

"I just want you to be healthy. If you cooperate, I'll buy you any kind of cake you want and you can have it with hot chocolate."

L sulked all the way to the doctors office, the entire time in the waiting room, and even while he reluctantly changed into a hospital gown. He sat on the examination table, glaring at light.

"This is unnecessary." He muttered. It was freezing and he was covered in goose bumps.

"Say's you, Dr. Ryuzaki?"

L continued scowling until the real doctor came in.

"How are you feeling today?" He asked.

L sat silently, looking away from the man.

"Ryuzaki!" Light reprimanded.

"I'm feeling fine," L replied, attempting to sound polite.

"Any complaints?"

"No, everything seems to be fine."

The doctor retrieved a stethoscope and placed it against L's chest, underneath the flimsy gown. "Any nausea?"

"A little, but it's much better than before.

"How about fatigue?... Breathe in for me,"

L hesitated as the doctor pressed the cold metal against his back, listening for god knows what. "Um… a little."

The doctor grasped his shoulder and guided him down onto the table, saying, "Lay back." He opened the top half of the gown and began firmly prodding L's stomach. "Have you experienced any cramping?"

"Uh," L shifted uncomfortably as the doctors hands moved over his pale stomach and dug into his internal organs. "Well, a little, I guess."

Light spoke up. "You didn't mention that."

"Well, it wasn't severe and I didn't consider it a problem."

The doctor pulled the gown back over L's exposed chest. "You know," he said. "If you tell me these things, I can help you with them."

He took a pair of latex gloves out of a box on the counter and put them on. "Alright, I sense you want to get this over with. It's time for the internal examination. You can lie on your back and bend your knees."

L was actually already lying on his back, but he quickly sat up and snapped his legs together. "No," He said. "Let's just skip that."

Light intervened once again, telling him to lie down and not to be a baby and so on. The brief quarrel concluded with L lying on his back, knees bent, and Light gently but firmly holding his shoulders down against the table.

"You can let go," L protested, writhing uncomfortably. "It's not like I'm going to run away." Light ignored him.

L cringed as the doctor forced a gloved and lubricated finger inside him. With the lubrication, it slid easily past the resistance, and his body could do nothing but readily accept the violation.

"Alright," the doctor said. "Tell me if you feel any discomfort."

"Discomfort?" L scowled.

The doctor rephrased. "Well, tell me if you feel any sharp pains."

The dark haired man on the table resisted the urge to flinch every time the gloved finger jabbed unceremoniously at his internal anatomy. To make matters worse, Light seemed to be resisting the urge to laugh.

"I'm not going to pry into the details of your intimate life," the doctor said, "But you should make sure not to be too rough considering Ryuzaki's condition."

"Hey!" Now it was Light's turn to take offense. "Everything we do is… loving and consensual!"

"I'm not implying anything, I'm just saying you should keep it in consideration."

Red with embarrassment, L turned his face away.

They left the humiliating appointment with the information that everything was progressing normally, and the suggestion that they acquire some books on the matter so they could know what to expect.

"Would you like to walk through the park before we go home?" Light asked. "That is, if you are feeling up for walking?" He added with a grin.

L seethed. Retaliation was in order. "Actually," he said. "I am feeling quite well. I suppose its true that doctors have skilled hands. He was much gentler than Raito-kun. I enjoyed it a great deal."

"Hm… I doubt that a great deal, based on the faces you were making."


	5. Disruptions

_Chapter Summary__: L suffers from more complaints as the pregnancy progresses. He and Light also befriend a neighbor, who has no filter._

_Objectionable Material__: Nothing inappropriate in this chapter, aside from the overarching theme of the story. Rated T_

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**V. Disruptions**

The pregnancy became more disruptive as time went on. The smell of food began to bother L, and he opted to retreat to the bedroom whenever Light cooked something. And though it had improved significantly, when morning sickness did hit, it seemed bent on destroying him. While he didn't particularly care for it, throwing up wasn't what bothered him most; it was the drawn out, endless phases of nausea that were truly insufferable. Often by the time he was able to actually get sick, he welcomed it as a relief.

It was during one such phase that Light was sitting on the couch drinking a type of beer L had always found particularly unpalatable. He wished Light would take the damn thing outside and drink it on the balcony, because just looking at it was making him sick. He had been agitatedly wandering around the apartment, sitting on the couch, standing up, and passing the time until the feeling either culminated in something or subsided. He was nearly at his wits end, when he was struck with an idea.

"Hey, let me have some of that," he requested, snatching the bottle away from Light.

"I thought you didn't like it," Light asked, as L walked into the kitchen with it. "Hey wait!" He added. "You can't have alcohol!"

"I wouldn't worry about that," L said. He took one sip, then leaned over the sink and threw up.

* * *

><p>Mood swings and cravings developed as well, and seemed to become more intense with time. L had always liked strawberries, but he now harbored an insatiable hunger for them. One evening, he looked in the refrigerator for some, and asked Light if they had any left.<p>

"They're all eaten," Light said. "But I'll go get some more. We need other things too."

He knew it made no sense, but he sat down on the couch and resisted the urge to cry.

"Wh- what?" Light stammered. "I said I'll get more!"

"That's not your job," L said bitterly.

Light looked at him in disbelief. "Ryuzaki, what's the matter with you?"

"I don't know. But your exasperation isn't helping."

"Jesus Christ!" Light said. L had his face buried in his hands, crying silently in what appeared to be frustration more than sadness. _Mood swings_, Light thought. Perhaps getting the berries really would help, but he didn't want to leave his crying boyfriend in the middle of a breakdown. He was usually good at comforting L, but truthfully, the irrational behavior was beyond him.

"Wait here a minute," he said, after getting L reasonably collected. "Will you feel better if Mayu comes over?"

Mayu was a girl down the hall who visited occasionally, and had become something of a friend. Light had been immediately fond of her because she spoke almost fluent Japanese- on account of her Japanese-American father, according to her.

Light speculated that, perhaps, as a female, she would be able to empathize with the emotional outbursts in a way that he couldn't.

When she opened her door, she was wearing blue sweatpants and a black tube top. She had dark hair and eyes, but distinctively French features, particularly a small, pointy nose.

"Would you come over?" Light asked.

"Sure."

As they walked down the hall, Light said, "I'd like it if you could wait with Ryuzaki. I need to go and get strawberries."

She frowned. "Why?"

"Because we ran out."

"No, why does someone need to wait with Ryuzaki?"

_Oh_, Light thought, opening the door to their apartment. She didn't know…

Mayu peeked into the apartment, to find L crouching on the sofa, solemnly chewing his thumb.

"Aw…" she frowned at his sad expression. "What's wrong?"

"Ryuzaki is pregnant," Light announced.

Mayu paused and opened her mouth as if to say something, then thought better of it and shut her mouth again.

"What?" L asked.

She inhaled to speak, then paused again. "…Nothing."

Light groaned. "Just say it, whatever it is."

"Uh… I always thought you were a boy. So… I apologize… especially for not inviting you to girls movie night last week."

"I AM A BOY!" L exclaimed. "… but I did want to go to your movie night."

"Enough of this," Light said. "He's male, but he really is pregnant. It's a rare phenomenon that happens occasionally."

Mayu hesitated again, then said, "That sounds like… a lie."

"Well," Light said. "Why don't you willingly suspend your disbelief for now so we can move on. He's been upset lately, and I was hoping you could keep him company while I'm gone."

Shifting her weight, Mayu frowned, and said, "I don't know if I'm the person for this. I don't know anything about pregnancy… it seems terrible… ruining your body, making your partner find you unattractive-" She stopped talking abruptly. "Sorry."

L sank down onto the couch, curling into a ball, and laying his head on the cushions out of view.

Light regretted his decision. Mayu was, indeed, not the person for this.

"Look, you go ahead," She said. "We'll figure out something to do, wont we Ryuzaki?"

L didn't respond, but Light said, "I'll be right back," and hurried out the door.

Mayu turned to the couch, where L was still curled out of view. "Do you have a computer?"

The two sat together on the sofa, looking at the screen.

"Okay…" Mayu frowned. "Male pregnancy does exist. I… am surprised."

L slouched back against the cushions, and Mayu continued mumbling. "Rare occurrence… accompanied by physical complications… my gosh, this is so disgusting- sorry, no offense."

"None taken."

She shut the screen. "I'm just not good with pregnancy and birth." L didn't respond, and she continued, "But, uh… how are you feeling about it."

"Fine, I guess," L said, chewing his thumb again. "I was fine but lately I've been sad for no reason. I think its just hormones."

"Sure, probably," she said. "Can you… see the baby yet? Like, is it showing through your stomach?"

"Hm…" He looked down at himself. "I can see a difference, but I wouldn't think it's apparent to anyone else."

"Can Light tell?"

"Probably not. I don't think he knows my body that well."

Mayu sighed. "Crazy."

When Light returned, Mayu announced that she had an idea. She had a friend named Taryn Winters who lived in the building and "just loves this sort of thing." A few years older than Mayu, Taryn had just had her first child a year earlier, and knew everything there was to know about babies and pregnancy.

"She will talk your ear off, seriously. Let me give you her number." Mayu began writing on a scrap of paper. "Actually-" she stopped, midway through T-A-R. "Let me feel her out first. She loves this sort of thing but she's Christian- like super American Christian. And I don't know how she's gonna feel about a pregnant guy."


	6. No Wrong Way

_Chapter Summary__: In this chapter we meet Taryn, a young woman who wishes to befriend L, thinking she can relate to him in light of common experiences. Mayu suggests an epic night out to take everyone's mind off baby drama. L becomes concerned when she seems to be doing too good a job of that with Light._

_Objectionable Material__: The theme of the story, and a few innuendos. Unconstrained drinking. Rated T_

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**VI. No Wrong Way**

"So you're not freaked out at all?"

"No, absolutely not. This is actually fascinating. I'd heard of this before- my husband is a doctor, and we're both always interested in medical phenomena." Taryn said.

"Not even a little?" Mayu said.

"Oh Mayu, there's no wrong way to start a family!"

"Really?" Mayu muttured. "Not even the way they did it?"

"Shush Mayu!" Taryn said, turning to Light and L. She was a slim blonde woman as pretty as Mayu but in a completely different way, with simple wholesome features. She wore a pastel sweater and a small scarf that seemed a little old for her, but she also seemed young to have a child, so perhaps her age was difficult to discern. Her beautiful pointed fingers gripped a coffee cup, and a large diamond glinted from her left hand.

"Thank you for inviting me here," She said. "And, this coffee is delicious."

"Raito made it," L said. "He makes lots of good things."

"It's the only way I can get him to eat healthy."

"That's very sweet," Taryn smiled.

Mayu picked at her fingernails while Taryn chatted about ways to enjoy the miracle of pregnancy and cope with the less pleasant aspects.

"Turthfully," she said, cheerfully but with some hesitation, as though she were about to tell a great secret, "I hope you're excited. I know it was unexpected, but I really do hope you're excited."

L shrugged, not sure what else to do.

"And," she continued, "Well if you want, you can talk to me about if anything is bothering you- I know we don't know each other yet, but… and I really do mean anything; emotional, physical; whatever it is, I'm sure I've been there."

She also offered to bring over some books she had on the topic, warning not to read them all at once, "Because, well, its nothing to be afraid of, but there are some things that might… freak you out- you know, if you read them all at once."

Mayu looked as though she had had just about as much as she could take. She had only come along to make sure Taryn's reaction wasn't screaming "This is an abomination against God!" though she doubted her friend was capable of something like that… and if she was, Mayu certainly didn't want to miss it.

She was grateful when the conversation steered towards topics of general interest, such as what Light and L had done in Paris so far.

"Just museums and restaurants? You haven't seen the nightlife in this city? You are missing out!" Mayu said. "I have the best idea. We should all go out together to a really sweet club. You know, before he," she pointed at L, "looks all… pregnant."

Light looked at L and shrugged. "That does sound like fun. I've thought about it a couple times, but I didn't know where to go."

"Taryn will come too, won't you Tar? I know she looks like a wet blanket, but she knows how to have fun."

"Sure," Taryn said. "That could be a lot of fun."

"Good," Mayu said. "It's settled."

* * *

><p>The night out was entirely unappealing as far as L was concerned.<p>

Taryn arrived in a silky, light grey dress- elegant and revealing at the same time. Mayu was teetering in high heels and a tiny skirt. They piled into a Limo that Taryn had booked, and Mayu immediately proceeded to blast music and pour shots, clambering over whoever was between her and the minibar.

It had been decided that clean cut Light and Taryn made the most convincing couple, but once inside the venue, Taryn kept L company because she had decided not to drink either. L's "date" on the other hand, climbed on top of the table and danced while clasping a giant bottle of vodka in her hand. Light was also joining in the revelry. Mayu had convinced him to down a few shots, and he was now standing on the floor beneath her, grasping her hips as she rocked back and forth on the table.

Light was actually quite a good dancer, L thought. He had never seen Light at a party or anything like that, so he had never realized it before. Mayu had abandoned the table and was now grinding up against Light, grasping his shirt collar. The two of them looked good…

Taryn sat down next to L. "She get's crazy, huh?" She said, gesturing towards Mayu. "But she's a nice girl. The worst she does is spill vodka and stumble around."

L observed the dark haired girl who was now grinding on Light from behind, simulating… things that he didn't even do to Light. 

* * *

><p>When the night finally ended, Light and Mayu left arm in arm, laughing and stumbling, united in their inebriation. Other men turned to look at Mayu- this beautiful girl, with long exposed limbs and a flushed face, staggering down the street with her companion. L felt a knot growing in the pit of his stomach.<p>

Taryn called after the pair, "Wait! Where are you going? We drove here! The limo…"

But they just kept laughing and falling over each other, and Mayu draped her arms around Light's neck.

L woke early in the morning. Light was completely passed out next to him, reeking of alcohol. He rose and went out to the living room, where the light coming through the window was still grey from the morning overcast. He climbed onto the sofa to crouch and think.

Mayu had bothered him that evening. He usually liked her because she said what was on her mind, and didn't have any expectations regarding his behavior. She was completely unconcerned with the few strange habits he had exposed to her. In fact, she tended to sit unusually herself, crouching like a cat or raising one foot onto the chair so her knee was up by her head - but in her case it seemed to reflect a lack of respect for other people's furniture, more than a desire to think clearly.

L was sure she did not have any interest in Light- she had stood on the table and swayed seductively in front of L as well, and even given Taryn a brief lap dance. But the fact that Light enjoyed the attention so much… his antics with Mayu made others stare at him in envy, probably reminding him what it was like to be 'that guy'.

L traced his thumb across his lip. If that's what Light wanted, things were only going to get worse over the next few months. Gender, looks, and personality meant L couldn't compete with Mayu, but in case Light wasn't profoundly embarrassed by him already, his condition would soon be noticeable…

A faint knock came on the door. L found himself hoping that it was Taryn, making good on her promise to talk to him about anything.

In fact, it was Mayu, already dressed for her day, and holding 3 cups of coffee and an orange juice balanced on a box of what he hoped were pastries.

"Hey," she said. "I figured your boyfriend would be too knocked out to take care of you, so I thought I'd bring you guys some breakfast."

She set the box on the counter. "It's croissants and some raspberry tarts, and other sweets. I know Light doesn't want you to have this kind of stuff, but I figured it would be okay, if you have the juice too."

He smiled weakly. "Thanks."

Mayu watched him for a while, then asked, "Is something wrong?"

"Well, if you want me to be honest… I've been thinking over something."

"What is it?"

L tore off a piece of croissant and stuffed it in his mouth. "I'm upset because… Raito-kun is attracted to you."

"What? No he's not. He's totally gay."

L shook his head. "Aside from me, Raito-kun has always preferred women. And you are the exact kind of woman most men would be attracted to."

Mayu hesitated. "Well- that doesn't change anything. He's not attracted to me "

"I know that you mean no harm. You are going to try to deny it to make me feel better, but…" He placed another piece of croissant in his mouth. "I am a logical person, and I must conclude that he is at least a little bit attracted to you."

Mayu thought for a moment, then gave an answer that surprised him. "Fine," she said. "Let me appeal to your logic. Everyone in a committed relationship finds _some_ other people attractive. But, it's not like he has a special interest in me; he just thinks I'm cute like most people do. Furthermore, nothing will ever happen between us. So, if you could pick the person that your boyfriend would find a tiny bit attractive, doesn't it seem like I'm a safe choice?"

"This is just convincing me that you are also intelligent, another quality that would be of interest to Raito."

"Oh stop," she said, shoving him lightly.

He stuck his tongue out at her. "Don't push me. If I fall, the baby could be hurt."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Note:<strong> I realized parts of this chapter may seem to implicitly condone societal bias against same-sex relationships (particularly the characters' attempt to pose as straight couples at the club). I hope this does not offend anyone_.


	7. Thinking Out Loud

_Chapter Summary__: Light fails to appreciate/remember how his carrying on with Mayu affected L. A phone call between Light and his parents further raises the issue that this may not be the relationship Light was meant to have. Realizing L has been doubting his affection, Light tries to apologize, but it leads to a tense argument, with darker undertones._

_Objectionable Material__: Material suited for teenagers and above. Tense family situations re. same-sex relationships and unplanned parenthood (never thought I'd hear those in the same sentence…) Rated T._

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**VII. Thinking Out Loud**

Light noticed that L was becoming withdrawn. It had been happening since the night at the club. He was concerned, but he knew L didn't like to be smothered, and tried not to press the issue.

He decided instead to reflect on matters of his own that he had been putting off- most importantly, his family. He had been away for months, and while they knew generally that he was in Paris, they didn't know what he was doing there or how long it would continue. He had stayed in touch with short phone calls, to let them know he was still alive.

Furthermore, how long _did_ he plan to stay? He'd been so caught up since the day of the unexpected news, he hadn't given anything else much thought.

It didn't have to be decided right away, he concluded. The first step was calling his family.

He made the call one afternoon while L was out. The conversation went on for over an hour, the entire time, Light saying, "If you would just let me explain- " They took turns on him, his father shouting admonishments, then his mother crying and pleading with him to reconsider, then his father again, barking about how he might as well not bother because his life was already ruined.

It went on so long, he heard L arrive home. In a few moments, the bedroom door opened, and L peered in.

"I know," Light said into the phone. "I know- you already said that -" He turned and waived L away. "I know, I HEARD you," he continued, into the phone. L lingered in the doorway a moment, until Light turned and silently mouthed, "GET OUT," and gesturing sharply for him to leave the room.

L retreated and closed the door.

Another forty-five minutes later, Light emerged from the bedroom.

"Your family?" L asked. He was crouched on a chair near the window, looking out at the view.

"My parents. I told them everything." Light ran his hand through his hair. "About us, and the baby, and how I want to have a life with you."

"What did they say?"

"What do you think they said?" Light scoffed. "They were confused and disgusted as to how this was even possible. Then they went on to how I'm making a huge mistake, and this isn't the life I was meant to have, and how I can still come home and forget all of this ever happened."

"Is that all they had to say about it?" L asked, still looking out the window.

"Uh pretty much. The same thing over and over, until I told them they could either accept it or not. MY father stormed out of the house apparently, and my mother kept crying. I told her our address and said she should come see us if she changes her mind… I don't think she will."

"Raito-"

"What, Ryuzaki?" But before L could answer, Light moved towards the door, and said, "I'm going to get some air."

* * *

><p>Light was out for a few hours, most of it spent standing on a bridge, looking over the Seine.<p>

He had not expected them to take it so badly.

He decided to stop by Taryn's before returning home, and found that Mayu was over for a visit as well. He told that about the call home.

"Rough," Mayu said, perched on one of Taryn's bar stools.

"Well, maybe they'll come around. It was probably just… a shock," Taryn said. "You know?" She was wrestling with a bottle of wine trying to pull the cork out. She had arranged a plate of bread and cheese for Mayu. No one ever felt unwelcome in her home.

"To make matters worse, Ryuzaki has been acting weird lately."

Taryn looked away.

"Oh…" Mayu said. "I know why that is. He thinks you're in love with me."

"No, no," Taryn interjected. "That's not quite it. He's just… bothered by the idea that you might like to be with someone… who people would expect you to be with."

Light crossed his arms and glared at them. "I see everyone knows about this except for me."

"And I think he's worried that his stomach is starting to look pregnant," Mayu added in the background.

Taryn ignore her. "No, not everyone knows about it, but he mentioned something to Mayu, and Mayu told me, so I asked him about it later. I'm not even sure if my theory is right, but that's what I could gather- he's not the most expressive, you know."

"I see," Light said, still unclear as to how this wasn't 'everyone knowing'. Unless Taryn meant to include her infant daughter.

Mayu chimed in. "He might worry this thing with your parents is making you," she paused, "see their point a little bit."

"They don't have a point. They were just yelling," Light said.

"Oh come on, but they do-"

"No! They don't!"

"I'm just saying! You ran away to Paris, you're shacked up with a misfit they would never approve of, you're going to have this bastard baby-"

"You're being very insensitive," Taryn said.

"I'm not saying it's because it's with another guy!"

"Mayu! Stop it!" Taryn said.

* * *

><p>On the way home, Light thought about what Mayu said. She wrong, but she had brought his attention to something; the situation looked bad. Especially considering that he had been going to an effort to keep his distance, thinking that's what L wanted.<p>

He opened the door to their apartment. "Is something burning?" He asked.

L was crouched on one of the dining room chairs, looking defeated. "No," He said. "Not anymore."

"What was it?" Light asked.

"I tired to microwave some food."

"It smells like burning plastic," Light said, sniffing the air again.

"The packaging burned as well."

"I see," Light said, turning away, trying not to laugh. "Well, you look like you're still hungry, so why don't I make something fast? We can eat on the couch and turn off the lights and watch TV."

"I prefer to watch the news."

"That's fine."

The two sat on the couch side by side. Light glanced over at L several times, who was intently focused on 'Tonight's Top Stories,' his face bathed in the glow from the screen. When the program went to commercial, Light said, "You know, I'm not in love with Mayu."

L showed no reaction, simply staring straight ahead at a French commercial with a window washer eating a cube of cheese on a platform several stories above the ground. "Bringing up something like that unprovoked is suspicious," he said.

"It's not unprovoked. I just came from Taryn's."

L continued to watch the screen, and hooked his index finger in his mouth, absent-mindedly. "I shall have to remember this incident the next time I ask Mayu not to tell anybody something."

"And I don't care that your stomach is becoming larger."

L nodded as if deep in thought. "Taryn predicted you would say that."

"Well," Light leaned back against the couch and put his arms behind his head. "Taryn is a very wise person."

"Mayu said that you would probably be lying."

"Mayu…" Light muttered. "Mayu is a nice person, but she's extremely rude."

L continued to watch the screen. "She merely thinks out loud, and I don't find her disagreeable. She makes observations, but she attaches little judgment to them."

"Yeah, well she's often wrong in her conclusions."

"Conclusions…" L said. "Yes, you may be right. I didn't address whether or not she is generally correct… Although, I believe that if she cares enough to think something through, she's quite perceptive."

"I'm beginning to think you're in love with her," Light said. He sighed and continued, "I'm sorry I've been ignoring you. I thought it was what you wanted. To be honest, I was becoming scared by your behavior."

"Scared?"

"You can be like a stone wall, Ryuzaki. Everything is a power play with you."

Light could sense L's anger, even though he was trying not to let it show. The news had come back on, and he was pretending to watch, but he was biting firmly on his thumb, sitting tensely.

Finally he said, "Of course you would think that I was acting with an ulterior motive, and not that I simply felt neglected."

"Yes! Of course I _would_. Because you always do that!" Light said.

"Am I to believe that Raito-kun has always been forthright with me?"

Light breathed in shakily. He was quite for a moment. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm just thinking out loud."

"Then stop! You're just trying to remind me of how it was before- that you can take it all away if you decide not to let me get close to you anymore."

"Things will never be like they were before."

"WELL GOOD!" Light shouted. He grabbed L roughly by the shoulders, throwing him off balanced. He pulled L towards himself in an almost violent motion, and wrapped his arms around him. "I know you're trying to be cold, but I don't care!" He shouted, almost in tears. He clung to L desperately, as if embracing him like this would keep him from ever becoming distant again. "I glad we're having this baby, and I'm glad that maybe I'll have something to keep you from pulling away from me whenever the mood hits!"

L's face was being smothered into Light's shoulder, and the rest of his body was awkwardly contorted from being forcibly pulled out of his crouching position. Light was squeezing him all over, and when he struggled, Light only grasped him harder.

"Raito-kun, I'm satisfied that you don't intend to neglect me," he choked out. "Now release me before cutting of my oxygen supply causes damage to our child."

"I love, Ryuzaki. Don't you know that?"

"Yes... and I love breathing. Release me!"

Light loosened his grip, but kept his arms wrapped around L, who accepted the concession and allowed himself to continue being held.


	8. Self Destruct

_Chapter Summary__: Light and L have a strangely explosive fight over what seem like less serious issues. Light storms out, but L assumes he'll cool off and return, so he waits… and waits and waits._

_Objectionable Material__: No particularly objectionable material in this chapter. Rated T b/c of the theme of the story._

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**VIII. Self Destruct**

If a fight was going to seriously piss Light off, L would have thought it would be the one caused by his prolonged sulking. That one was based on real issues- trust, neglect, doubt… but it was a later dispute that turned into a full blown fight, and ended with Light storming out of the apartment, and L trying to figure out exactly what had gone wrong. 

They had eaten lunch- Light had made some sort of Quiche, but it wasn't very good; Japanese food was definitely more his area of expertise. Then Light had gone out to rent a car for them- even at only 4 months, L was using the pregnancy as an excuse not to walk long distances.

Once Light was gone, L went to the refrigerator to see if there was anything else to eat after that god-awful quiche, but there wasn't.

He decided to go to the café on the corner across from their building. Their sandwiches were okay, but their coffee and desserts were exceptional. They also had a table in the corner where he could sit the way he preferred and it would go relatively unnoticed.

The server came to take his order, and paid no attention to his strange sitting position they had become used to L by this point, and didn't bother to inquire about it.

"Je prends une tarte aux framboises… ah, non- deux tartes aux framboises." L glanced back at the menu, and added, "Est-ce que vous avez du chocolat chaud?"

It was about an hour later that Light came in looking for him and found him crouched in his chair, thinking, and finishing his third raspberry tart.

"I knew you'd be here! You are so predictable!" Light hissed. "I don't ask much of you, and if you want to gorge yourself on sweets once in a while, I'm not going to stop you. But I've asked you begged you not to come and sit down here for hours breathing in all this second hand smoke!"

It was true, the place was absolutely hazy with cigarette smoke.

"Let's go," Light said. The waiters took notice as he gripped L's arm and tried to yank him out of the chair.

"I haven't paid yet."

Light reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of crumpled bills, and dropped what probably amounted to a 800% tip on the table.

"Pardon," the waiter interjected.

"Don't serve him anymore!" Light said in English. "If he comes down here, don't serve him anything!" But between Light's accent and the waiter's very limited understanding of English, nothing was getting through. L turned to the server and said in French, "Don't mind him. He is mentally ill." 

Back at the apartment, Light was still fuming.

"You find every way possible to be uncooperative. You have to sabotage everything I'm doing for you!"

"You don't need to boss me around. I can take care of myself, and I don't take well to being told what to do."

"I'm not bossing you around!" Light said. "I ASK you to do things because I care about you, but you are free to ignore me, as we have definitely seen. I don't care if you don't like the food I make you, but don't sit around in the smoke!"

"I never said I didn't like the food." L said.

"HA! You definitely didn't hide it very well!"

"Well, fine," L shrugged. "Next time I don't like something I'll just go hungry the rest of the day."

"That's the exact opposite of what I just said!" Light shouted. "Would you stop being so passive aggressive? And honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if you did starve yourself, because you are completely self-destructive! I'm breaking my back trying to take care of you and you don't appreciate anything I do! You have no idea how stressful this is for me!"

"If this is what it means to be in a relationship, I don't much care for it." L said. "Being smothered and ordered around is hardly worth having someone to eat unappealing meals with."

"Well you know what? FINE! I've been getting really tired of this anyway!" Light said, picking up his jacket. "You can take care of yourself!"

He stormed out, and slammed the door. 

L presumed Light would come back, so he wasn't particularly concerned. He sat around the apartment for a bit, until he realized that Light probably needed more time to cool off than he initially predicted.

He put on a few layers of clothing. It was still relatively easy to conceal the baby bump- people who knew him could definitely see the difference, but anyone else would think he was just some guy with a beer belly.

He spent an hour or so at a sculpture exhibit he had picked up a brochure about, and was actually able to forget about the argument as he wandered past the marble statues. The rest of the evening, he walked around the city, enjoying the scenery.

When he returned home, he saw that Light still hadn't been back to the apartment, and became slightly worried. He waited and waited… it was getting late now. What could Light be doing?

Time went on. By the middle of the night, he was still hoping he would hear the doorknob turn. He didn't.

He had pushed Light too far.

Light was actually serious when he said he was leaving.

L swallowed roughly, feeling panic set in.

* * *

><p><em>So, for this story, I've been googling things like "When does your pregnancy start to show?" and "How many months is it until the baby kicks?" and now, because to the internet I must appear to be a pregnant lady, I'm getting ads for a bunch of baby stuff.<em>

_And also, wanna know something funny? On google, if you type in "What's the latest you- " the first thing that comes up in the auto-fill is "can get an abortion." _


	9. A Mistake

_Chapter Summary__: Light hasn't returned, and L realizes that the life he pictured is no longer an option. Taryn and Mayu still have hope._

_Objectionable Material__: Contemplation of abortion. Adamant opposition to abortion. (I suppose different people may consider either objectionable). Rated T._

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

_Note__: I cut some material, mostly because it was boring, but a few details were lost: Mayu speaks English and French like a native speaker (as a result of her family situation and upbringing). She also speaks Japanese, but it is clear that she is not a native speaker (knows grammar and vocabulary, but doesn't know idioms and has an accent). Taryn is American and effectively only speaks English._

**IX. A Mistake**

It had been more than a week since Light left, and he hadn't returned. His phone had also been shut off.

L came to Taryn's apartment, and found her sitting on the coffee table in the middle of the room, with her legs crossed, looking deep in thought.

"Raito isn't coming back," he said.

Several days earlier, when Light had first vanished, L knocked on Taryn's door in the middle of the night. He forgot she wasn't the only one who lived there, until her tall, attractive husband opened the door in sweatpants and an undershirt. The man wasn't upset; he simply yawned, looked L up and down and said, "Oh… you're that guy…"

Taryn had then spent the rest of the night insisting she was confident Light would return. L was fairly certain she was wrong. The next day when Light still didn't appear, even Taryn seemed at a loss.

With another day, the reality fully set in; Light was, at least for the time being, really gone.

"If Raito isn't coming back... it seems like it would be a mistake for me to have this baby," L had admitted then.

"Just wait a while," Taryn insisted. "You don't know that he's actually gone."

And he had waited. And Light still had not returned. And now even Taryn had to face the truth.

"Ryuzaki… I'm so sorry. I was _sure_ he would change his mind." She looked as though she were mulling it over, trying to figure out where she had miscalculated. She turned to him and said, "Still… despite that… I don't think you should get rid of the baby."

"It's the most sound decision. I never had the capabilities to raise a child, and now it seems I don't have a reason to."

"You know that's not true. You're perfectly capable," she said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Also, consider that at four months pregnant, you can't even have an abortion in France anymore."

"I can go to the U.S. or the U.K." L said.

"That's not the point," she said, standing up assertively. "You're just overreacting, and you're about to do something unfair." She shook her head in disappointment. "You know, your baby can already hear. It knows what your voice sounds like. How can you not think that's amazing?"

At that moment, Mayu swung open the door. She stopped and looked at them. "What's going on?" she asked.

* * *

><p>Mayu and Taryn bickered in Taryn's bedroom for a few minutes. L could hear their sharp whispers sounding through the walls every now and then, particularly Mayu's voice saying, "But it's none of your business!... That doesn't matter!... Well, keep it to yourself!"<p>

Mayu emerged alone, and suggested she and L move to the balcony so she could smoke while they talked. "Don't worry, I'll puff away from you…" Then she added, "Or does it still matter? If you're not keeping the baby?"

It was a windy day, and they stood leaning against the railing, their hair blown into their faces by the breeze.

"From Taryn's perspective, she honestly thinks you're making a mistake." Mayu said. "And it can't help that she's already picturing it as a little black-haired baby in a circus animal print onesie, sucking on a pacifier."

L looked over the city towards the horizon. "My baby has a onesie with circus animals on it?"

"Yeah," Mayu said. "Or whatever kind of pictures they put on baby clothes."

"You know, I haven't entirely decided yet. I was going to mention that but, Taryn didn't give me a chance."

"Wait, isn't it too late for an abortion?"

He shook his head. "Here it is, but not in the US or the UK. It's permissible until 24 weeks."

Mayu was counting in her head. "Twenty four weeks… six months? Jeez, that's a little late, isn't it? If you slip them a hundred bucks, maybe they'll agree to just shoot it after it's born."

"No…"

"I know," Mayu said. "I'm just joking." She paused for a moment. "I'm sorry about Light."

"Thanks."

"He might still come back, you know." She blew a stream of smoke out her mouth and the wind quickly whipped it away. "And I'm not just saying that, like Taryn."

"Perhaps he will," L said. "But I think he's had enough of me. And after he just walked off, without even giving me a chance to apologize, I'm not sure I want him to come back."

Mayu shrugged. "Well, that's your business. For what it's worth, I think he must really love you. We started hooking up that night after the club, but he stopped it," She paused, exhaled another stream of smoke, then shouted, "HAH! The look on your face right now!" She laughed, gripping the railing for balanced. "Oh man… when would that have even happened? YOU went home with him after the club. He and I were never alone!" She sighed again. "So, it seems you do still care about him."

L folded his arms, and looked away from her. "You think you're very clever, don't you Mayu?"

"Yes, I do," she said, with a smug grin. "But I did mean it, about Light coming back; I think he is in love with you."

"Why do you say that?"

"I dunno. I guess because he's put up with you this far," she said, dropping her cigarette on the ground, and snuffing it out with the tip of her shoe.

* * *

><p><em>I hope everyone is enjoying, so far. Thanks for the reviews. If you have any insights or criticisms, please feel free to share. Also, if you have questions about anything, those are welcome too. And of course, the positive feedback has been greatly appreciated!<em>


	10. Complete Lack of Judgment

_Chapter Summary__: L feels horribly lonely without Light. He reconsiders keeping the baby, and that turns out to probably be a good call._

_Objectionable Material__: Theme of story, reference to abortion. Minor Language. Rated T._

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**X. Complete Lack of Judgment**

L spent another night alone in his bed. He used to enjoy being alone, but now... had he grown accustomed to Light's presence? The bed felt unusually cold; inexplicably, colder than it should have, even taking into account the absence of Light's body heat. It wasn't helping that he was hungry, as well. Painfully hungry. He hadn't eaten dinner because there was nothing around, and he decided it would be easier to get something in the morning. That decision was premised on the mistaken assumption that he would sleep through his hunger.

The room felt quiet and empty. There was no soothing rhythm of Light's breathing, no chance that he would roll over and encounter Light's warm skin. He wouldn't wake up to find Light already sitting up in bed, stroking his hair, telling him he looked cute sleeping. Light said he sucked his thumb in his sleep sometimes, but he didn't believe that...

He had assumed that without Light, he would simply go back to his old life… but he wondered if he was a slightly different person. A person who wouldn't want to go back to that.

He stared at the ceiling for ages, unable to sleep. _Perhaps I'm not that different_, he thought. _I've returned to my old sleeping habits fairly easily._

He wished Light would come back. He felt horribly lonely realizing that out in the world, there was probably no one else who would ever understand him as Light did … or even like him in the slightest. Would he sleep alone in a bed for the rest of his life? The possibility didn't seem that remote; he had taken it as a given until a few months ago. He would always remember what it felt like to have someone's arms clasped around him as he fell asleep; he could look back on it fondly, but it would probably also fill him with regret.

He law awake for hours, time passing by slowly. He wasn't sure when he noticed it, but suddenly he realized something. He could feel the baby moving.

"Wow…" he muttered almost in disbelief, as he sat up slightly. It really was moving.

He carefully lay back down and held perfectly still, and the faint movements persisted. He continued looking at the ceiling, and thinking. It made no sense, but he didn't feel as lonely. The baby really was there.

He certainly didn't believe that the baby had done this on purpose, in an attempt to thwart his plans. But the timing was uncanny. And hypothetically, if it was a deliberate tactic, then this child was predisposed to the sort of calculated manipulations he often used himself.

"Well played," he said into the darkness. "In fact, it seems you've won. I shall keep you around."

* * *

><p>The next morning, L was at Taryn's explaining that he had changed his mind about doing away with the baby. He didn't explain why, and she didn't ask, but she rejoiced and hugged him, saying not to doubt his parenting abilities. She was telling him that she saw strengths in him that he probably didn't see in himself, when there were several loud bangs on the door.<p>

"Hey! Open up in there!" Mayu shouted.

Taryn stood up from where they were sitting at the counter, and unlocked the door.

"Look what I found," Mayu said. Light was standing there. Mayu gripped the back of his shirt collar, and shoved him inside.

"You-" L said, genuinely surprised. Taryn, still kind of frozen holding the door open, looked taken aback as well.

"He came up to my place looking for you when you weren't at the apartment," Mayu said. "Don't worry, I fucked with him a little bit. I told him you went back to England because you thought he had left you for good. He totally freaked out."

"Ryuzaki," Light said. "I can't believe you didn't think I was coming back! I only meant I was leaving for a little while."

L stared at him in shock. "You said you were getting out of my way."

"Not forever! You said I was smothering you! I went to Italy for a few days to show you what it would be like taking care of yourself."

"But… you disconnected your phone."

"It didn't work outside France, and I couldn't figure out how to set up a new account," Light said.

L was angry now. "You could have called. They have phones in Italy, if I'm not mistaken."

Light shrugged. "Yeah, I thought of it, but I was trying to teach you a lesson."

"You left all your clothes! You were gone for more than a week!"

"Yeah, I realized I that when I got to the train station, but I was so mad I didn't want to go back. And I was gone so long because… well I thought you knew I was coming back, but I wanted you to get a little worried at the end. I didn't think you'd freak out and tell everyone we broke up."

Mayu raised her eyebrows. Poor Light, if he thought that was the extent of the freaking out Ryuzaki had done.

"I can't believe you…" L started to say.

Taryn stood up quickly. "Sure, you can argue about this, but wouldn't it be better if you just… swept everything under the rug?" She glared sternly at L "Never spoke of it again?" It almost sounded like a threat.

But she was right. Light was standing there, back from a short vacation, with a sort of guilty sheepishness that betrayed his innocent perception of the situation. He assumed it was obvious that he wouldn't leave L out of annoyance or frustration; that it was obvious that was the kind of love they had. What would the look on his face be if he saw how easily L had lost faith, or what he had almost done? L had a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"I'm sorry for overreacting," he said. "If you're sorry for," he paused. "Your complete lack of judgment."

"Yes. I regret it a lot… please, lets just go home," Light said.

* * *

><p>Light and L lay on the couch together, doing nothing really, besides cuddling. Light had his head in L's lap, and L was stroking his hair, tentatively, a reversal of their usual roles.<p>

"I'm sorry I tried to scare you like that," Light said.

L still felt a pang of anger, thinking about what had gone on, but he forced it down. "It's alright," he sighed. "If it makes any difference, you proved your point. I was not successful on my own."

"Yeah, well I got a taste of my own medicine," Light said. "Mayu really messed with me. She got completely somber and told me you had left, and even when I started falling apart, she kept a straight face. I deserved it, but I was so afraid." He turned and nuzzled L's stomach. "I thought I had destroyed what we had."

L swallowed roughly. "Raito-kun, if I promise to be good, will you promise not to punish me like that again?"

"Of course," Light said.


	11. Different Approaches

_Chapter Summary__: It's hard to summarize this chapter. It's a brief interlude just showing how L is kind of… cared for in his day to day life by Light and Taryn. It ends with L and Light about to go on a shopping expedition (that will become quite scandalous and involve very little shopping, so stay tuned)._

_Objectionable Material__: Personal Questions, and lewd humor. Rated T._

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**XI. Different Approaches**

Taryn seemed jumpy about the pregnancy ever since L nearly decided to terminate it. She swore she would never breathe a word to Light about what had transpired during his absence, and perhaps it was the weight of this secret that wore on her nerves.

She responded by taking it upon herself to care for L. Between her efforts and Light's, no aspect of his pregnancy went neglected. He was taking a regimen of vitamins, sleeping several hours every night, and even getting moderate amounts of exercise. He still looked fatigued, as Taryn noted with concern, but Light said, "I think he just looks like that."

The two had wildly different approaches in their caregiving efforts, however. Though Light had made an effort to be more patient since his return, he still occasionally became cross and shouted "Ryuzaki!" if L was ever evasive or uncooperative. Taryn on the other hand had a sweet way about her, and could coax anyone to do what she wanted.

"Sweetheart," she said, when he resisted going to his follow up doctors visit. "It's so important. You need to take care of yourself. And today, you'll be able to see your baby more clearly on the ultrasound."

"Alright, are you ready to go yet?" Light asked L impatiently.

"And you!" Taryn turned crossly to Light. "I heard you were teasing Ryuzaki at his last appointment. You'd better not, or you'll have me to deal with." She jabbed Light in chest with her finger. "Now hurry up, you two."

L grudgingly went, and even asked for copies of the ultrasound images to shown Taryn, as she had requested.

Mayu was supportive in her own way. She didn't care to hear about prenatal vitamins, or C-sections, or the effect of pregnancy on sex drive. She glanced over Taryn's shoulder at the ultrasound pictures and shrugged, announcing she had no idea what she was looking at. However, she was always willing to sneak him unhealthy foods, or go for a walk in the middle of the night if he couldn't sleep and didn't want to wake Light.

During these late night strolls, L discovered that Mayu had a habit of asking personal questions in a completely nonchalant way, for example:

"Have you ever been with a girl?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"The opportunity never arose."

"Hm… did you always know you were interested in boys?"

"Don't you consider this a personal topic?" He wasn't offended, just genuinely interested in her view on the matter.

"Not really."

"I see. Well, the answer to your question is no, but for a time I considered myself relatively asexual."

"How did you guys decide who would be the top and who would be the bottom?"

"We flipped a coin."

"You liar!"

* * *

><p>L tried to peer into the kitchen to see what Taryn was doing. It sounded like she was making tea or coffee. He hoped he would get some coffee, but based on past experiences, he would probably be encouraged to have juice or tea.<p>

Light was in the kitchen as well taking out dishes and slicing up baguette. Mayu was sitting at the table with L, yawning and rubbing her eyes.

"Why do I have to be dressed and ready at 8 am?" She asked. Her body looked ready to start the day- she was incredibly polished in tall boots with gold buckles, a tailored black skirt and a stylish off-white coat. But her head- her face and her hair more precisely- looked as if she were waking up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. She had dark circles under here eyes, and her hair was tangled and bunched up in the back, defying gravity. She did, however, seem relatively awake and alert.

"Today we are going to shop for clothes," Taryn said. "I needed a few things, and L will need some bigger clothes soon if he hopes to fit into anything." She set a cup of tea in front of L, and tugged at the hem of his shirt. "They're getting a little tight," she teased.

Light put a bowl of cereal in front of L.

"What is this?" He asked.

"High fiber cereal. It prevents constipation, which is a very common complaint during pregnancy," Light said.

"That's true. It is," Taryn added, pouring coffee for herself and Mayu.

L frowned at the bowl in front of him, and Light scowled angrily. "If you become constipated, I'm going to hold you down and force you to have an enema, so… take your pick!"

"Lovely," Mayu muttered.

Taryn joined them at the table, and said, "Light is just impatient-"

"None of my business! Consenting adults and so on," Mayu interjected.

"-because sometimes taking care of Ryuzaki is a lot of work." Taryn pushed the bowl slightly closer to L and said, "Come on, eat your cereal."

"Sucks to be you," Mayu said. "Mmm, I'm so glad I get this."

L looked across the table, as she started to lift a cinnamon-sugar coated pastry out of a box that she had apparently brought with her. No time to brush her hair, but plenty of time for early morning trips to the bakery, solely designed to antagonize him. Typical.

"How come she gets that?" L whimpered.

"Because I don't care if I become constipated," Mayu retorted.

"Mayu!" Taryn reached across the table and slapped the lid down, knocking the pastry back into the box. "Eat that some place else."

"Relax," Mayu said. "I brought this knowing that Ryuzaki was probably going to be uncooperative this morning. I was going to strike a deal, and offer him a piece if he eats all of… whatever Raito is trying to feed him."

Light went back to the kitchen. "Will you eat the cereal if I add some chopped fruit?"

L nodded, and Light took out a cutting board and a basket of strawberries.

"He chops berries for you?" Mayu asked. "Jeez. Raito-san, will you be my boyfriend?"

Light continued chopping the fruit, without looking up, and said, "Would you have my child?"

Mayu snickered. "Touché, Raito, Touché."


	12. Wearing It Out

_Chapter Summary__: L tries to convince Light to fool around in a dressing room, whilst shopping for some new clothes. Mayu later attempts to invade L's personal space while Light and Taryn have stepped away._

_*I've been making the summaries shorter and shorter in the interest of not giving everything away, and its kind of defeating the purpose. If you want a more detailed summary (like if you are trying to skip a chapter- whatev, I don't care) I'm going to put it at the bottom of the page._

_Objectionable Material__: Yaoi sexual content. Oral, anal, rough sex. All consensual, nothing weird or creepy, but for adults only. Rated M._

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**XII. Wearing It Out  
><strong>

"Why did you want to split up from the girls?" Light asked as they walked up the tree-lined street, past several shops.

"No reason in particular," L said. The truth was, they had been shopping all morning, and L was quite bored by it, so he had come up with a way to make their next task- buying a jacket- more interesting. But Light didn't need to know that yet. He would find out in due time.

"Let's look in here," Light said, leading him into a shop.

He let Light pick out something for him without giving it much attention.

"Let's get a dressing room," L said.

"You don't need a dressing room to try on a jacket." But L had already waived over a sales associate.

L pulled him into the room, and pushed the door closed.

"Why don't you just try it on out- uh!" Light was cut off as L pushed him against the wall, and kissed him forcefully. He was still processing that he had been shoved, when he felt the other's wet tongue sliding into his mouth, pressing against his own.

"Ryuzaki…" He gasped.

"How can Raito-kun be so concerned with clothes when there are much more interesting things to do?"

"In a dressing room?" He asked hesitantly.

"My condition is making me impulsive."

Perhaps he should have resisted, but L was already pressing him further against the wall, roughly unclasping his belt, and sliding his hands down the front of his pants.

"I thought you might hesitate," L said. "But I can see that your body has already decided to comply."

_Dammit_, Light thought, as L clasped his already erect member. He stifled a moan as L began stroking him slowly and firmly.

"No!" Light said, swatting L's hands away. "No, no, no. They are going to knock on the door and ask what we're doing." He pulled his pants up, and re-zipped them, then swiftly left the dressing room.

L's heart sank. He sat down on the bench, staring at the jacket he had been left alone with, feeling both sad and embarrassed. He rarely initiated their encounters, and to be rebuffed so quickly had a particular sting.

Suddenly, the door swung open, and Light rushed in, carrying a pile of clothes. He dumped them on the bench next to L.

"What… are these?" L asked.

"They're not going to believe we're in here for however long trying on one jacket. I got these, so hopefully they'll leave us alone for a while."

L's face lit up, and he stood up and wrapped his arms around Light… and went to work where he had left off, reaching down the other's pants.

"We have to be quiet. And fast," Light whispered, as L began stroking his rapidly hardening penis.

"That will be up to you," L said.

_Right…_

"And if they- uh-" he flinched involuntarily, "If they knock on the door. You have –uhhh…" he groaned quietly as L moved his hand back and forth, working him in a fluid motion. "You have to tell them in French that we don't need anything."

"Is that because Raito-kun will be too busy moaning to speak?" L asked, grinning devilishly.

"No!" Light said. "No one will be moaning! We have to be quiet."

The steady pumping of L's grip was already making Light's heart pound. Waves of pleasure pulsed through his swollen member in rhythm with the sliding of L's hand. He was amazed at how quickly the urge to release was building in him.

He gripped L's wrist, halting it mid-stroke. He was not going to be the only one weak to his desire. If they were going to do this, then he was going to make L beg for it as well.

L was looking at him, curiously and expectantly, with his wrist restrained. Light brought his face into the crest of the pale neck, and traced his nose up the sensitive skin, relishing the shudder it evoked from the dark haired man. It was thrilling, the way that always made him respond; he was trembling in anticipation. But who could blame him? Past experienced warned that when Light's mouth hovered over vulnerable parts of his body, he was probably going to feel the sharp clamp of teeth on his flesh.

_Not today, Ryuzaki. I have to keep things interesting…_ Light thought. He licked gently all the way from the protruding collarbone, up to the tip of his ear lobe. He noted, contentedly, how L seemed to be struggling to figure out what was coming next, while compromised by the pleasure he was receiving.

He slid the white t-shirt up the detective's body and pulled it over his head. He ran his hands over the creamy skin of L's chest, then brought his mouth down to flick the tip of his tongue against L's left nipple, teasing it torturously with the faintest stimulation. He used his finger to trace circles around the right one, rolling over it as it hardened, then taking it between his fingertips and pinching it painfully and repeatedly.

"I would like it," L panted, "If Raito-kun would take me now, against the wall."

Light stopped and looked up. "What? No. We can't do that; we don't have any lube."

L knelt on the ground before him, and pulled the front of Light's pants and boxers down, disentangling the material from his painfully hard erection.

_Oh…_ Light thought, as he felt the warmth of L's mouth engulf him.

Light tried to keep his wits about him. "Uh- Ryuzaki… I don't think that's a good idea. It's not going to be wet enough. It's still going to hurt."

L didn't respond, only kept eagerly pleasuring the man before him, his mouth making small, wet sucking noises.

They had made love with the lights on before, but it was different now, under the bright florescent sheen of the dressing room… watching L kneeling before him, sliding his lips up and down over his cock… taking it deep into his throat, and letting saliva drip down his face. Light had never watched this closely before. It was disgusting… disgusting in a way that turned him on. L glanced up at him for a moment, and they locked eyes.

Aside from the physical pleasure, there was something psychologically stimulating about what was happening… the thought of this dark haired genius preparing someone's cock to be pushed up his ass. It was too much, Light thought. He had to have him.

"Alright," Light said. "Take all your clothes off."

* * *

><p>L was pressed with his back against the wall, and his legs wrapped around Light's waist. Light was supporting him with one arm, his unbuttoned shirt hanging over his body. His spit-covered cock was positioned and ready to go, but he couldn't bring himself to do it just yet.<p>

Light brought two fingers to his own mouth and dipped them in, covering them in saliva. He reached beneath L, who drew in a sharp breath as he applied the makeshift lubricant to the place he would soon be penetrating.

He whispered in L's ear, the sides of their faces brushing together, "If it hurts, you can't yell. Okay? Tell me right away, but you have to stay quiet." He slid the tip of his cock around until he felt it connect with the right place. He pushed slowly, trying to gain entrance, but it was no use. He pressed more firmly, but still couldn't get inside. His fear was that, because of their awkward position, he might unexpectedly push through the resistance, and painfully impale his unsuspecting partner with his entire length.

"I'm realizing we haven't done this in a while," Light whispered. The stress of the pregnancy and the two fights had taken its toll on their sex life. As a result, L was extremely tight- and that was further complicated by the lack of real lube, and the fact that Light couldn't really reach with his fingers to stretch him out a little first. He resorted to gentle, shallow thrusts until he felt the constricted muscles giving way a little bit, and he could push the tip of his cock inside.

He caught L's lips in a tender, but sensual kiss, and whispered, "Just relax…" as he slowly slid more of his length in. He could feel L's body spasming, trying to accept the foreign object that was slowly filling him.

Light winced in pleasure at L's delicious involuntary reactions. He was so warm and tight and vulnerable, it was all Light could do not to plunge into his supple body all at once.

L whimpered faintly as Light filled him as far as he could reach. He began moving rhythmically inside- not even thrusting, just a gentle rocking, pressing against all the places inside his willing partner that hadn't been touched for so long.

_This is going to be quick_, Light thought to himself. And it was a good thing, because, how long did it really take to try on some clothes?

He drew out gently and thrust back in, making L jerk and gasp. "Is it hurting?" He asked quietly.

L hesitated. "Slightly," he admitted. "But please don't stop."

Light couldn't help but feel guilty. There was way too much friction. Although thrusting into L while he was un-lubricated and especially tight felt amazing as far as Light was concerned, he knew the pale man he was supporting must be experiencing a fair amount of discomfort.

L looked away, embarrassed, then added, "I actually kind of… like when it hurts."

Light raised his eyebrows.

He increased the pace, and angled his thrusts upwards, aiming for that place that would deliver overpowering pleasure. He could sense the anticipation between them, and feel L react every time he slid inside but missed the mark; L was waiting for it, knowing it was coming. Light knew he had hit the right spot when L flinched and tensed his entire body. Grinning victoriously, Light pounded mercilessly into that place, not even giving him time to recover between thrusts. He kissed L's neck roughly, then sucked brutally at it, leaving him covered in dark bruises, as he pressed the man's back against the wall and thrust into him. He used the hand that wasn't supporting the lean body to attend to his erection, stroking it rhythmically, increasing the pace along with his own tempo. That's right; he was going to blow L's mind.

L was gasping with his mouth open, trying to speak but unable to get any words out.

"Going to cum?" Light asked quietly, with a sly grin. L nodded desperately, with his eyes closed, head leaned back, and mouth still open as he approached the peak of his pleasure. "Yeah," Light said, "In about another second, so am I."

He kissed him deeply on the lips, stroking and thrusting faster and faster until he could feel L arching his back and straining against the wall, as his entire body was overcome with strong rhythmic tensing. Light continued stroking L's erection as it pulsed beneath his hand, and angled it down so the white liquid spilled onto L's stomach.

At the sight of L arching his back and stifling a moan, Light lost himself as well- so intensely that he almost dropped L, which would have been painful for both of them.

"Oh my god…" he panted. He stood for a minute, catching his breath, L already relaxing in his arms. He adjusted his grip on L and pulled him away from the wall. Still entangled, he sat down on the bench, with L in his lap. "You're a mess," he said, laughing quietly as he looked over L's sweat and cum covered body, and stroked his back.

They used L's old t-shirt to clean up, and decided he could wear one of the new ones they had bought earlier. It would have been better to simply rush out of the store, but a problem had been created; they now had to buy the jacket. They had taken so long it would be rude not to, but more importantly, they needed something to cover the bruises that littered L's neck.

Light helped him button it up, and arranged the collar so nothing could be seen. He pulled off the tag, and explained at the cash register that he would be wearing it out.

* * *

><p>They met the girls at a large fountain Mayu had directed them too, and decided to get lunch from a near by café.<p>

"We can sit out here and eat around the fountain." Mayu said. "I like your jacket, Ryuzaki."

Taryn offered to bring food back alone; apparently she had forced Mayu to back track four blocks with her to return something, and promised her friend she would not make her walk anymore. Light went as well, refusing to send Taryn off alone, leaving Mayu and L sitting on the edge of the fountain

"Alors," Mayu sighed, once they were alone. "Comment _ç_a va?"

They conversed for a while, about trivial things; how Mayu had learned English and Japanese, what kind of cosmetic surgeries she hoped Taryn's husband would give her, and so on. Apparently she saved the invasive questions for after dark.

She noted that his French was quite excellent, but ultimately switched to English, "because you speak too slowly."

But it wasn't just the language; something had been distracting L for quite some time. He flinched slightly.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Mayu asked.

"Nothing."

"You've been doing that this whole time." She leaned in slowly. "Let me feel your stomach."

"Why" he asked, moving away from her.

"That baby is kicking you, isn't it?"

With her aversion to everything else baby related, he couldn't see why she was so interested in this. He had been trying to keep it to himself- particularly, he didn't want to draw any attention in a public place like this... but no one else seemed to be taking notice of them, so he said "Alright, fine."

She slipped her hand under his shirt pressed it against his belly.

"It's been doing it since that day…" He hesitated. _That day I considered getting rid of it._ "That day where we spoke on the balcony. But it was faint then. It has become stronger with time," he explained.

"Does it hurt?"

"No, it's just startling sometimes."

"It's not moving," she said.

"You have to wait. I'm sure it will, in another minute; it moves constantly-"

"Mayu, what are you doing?" Taryn's voice interrupted them. She and Light were approaching, holding sandwiches and drinks.

L sighed. "Raito-kun's child has become very active."

"Really?" Taryn exclaimed. "That's amazing!"

"You can feel too, if you want," he offered.

"No!" Mayu said. "Come on, wait until I'm done."

Taryn set the food on a near by table. She approached them, saying, "Mayu, you should at least-"

"Hey, get away," Mayu said, shoving Taryn.

Taryn stumbled backwards. "Mayu!" She said, but Mayu shoved her again, keeping one hand pressed against L's abdomen, and snickering. "At least let Light feel!" Taryn ordered, gripping Mayu under the arms.

Taryn would later insist that Mayu shoved her again, but from L and Lights perspective, it seemed like she just lost her balance. In any case, she flipped over the edge of the fountain and splashed into the water.

Mayu laughed so hard, she collapsed onto the ground, gasping for air.

The two young men immediately jumped up and helped pull Taryn out of the fountain, Light even stepping into the water himself.

That put an end to the afternoon; Once Mayu was done laughing on the ground (not seeming to care that she was becoming covered in dirt), they got a cab home.

During the ride, however, L grasped Light's hand and slipped it under his shirt and pressed it against his stomach. "It's still kicking," he leaned over and whispered.

Light sat in amazement at what he was feeling. He leaned against L and kept his hand pressed on his stomach, enjoying what could be called their first family moment, as they passed through the city streets.

* * *

><p><em><span>Detailed Summary:<span>__ L is bored with shopping, and wants instead to have sex in one of the dressing rooms. After initially fearing rejection, he gets his way and Light indulges him… thoroughly. Light tops, using spit as lubricant, and is really concerned about causing him pain, until L admits that he enjoys pain, at which point Light gets a little rough. After they're done, Light cuddles him a little bit, then helps him clean up. They later meet Mayu and Taryn for lunch, and L and Mayu end up left alone. Mayu notices that L is flinching uncomfortably and realizes the baby is kicking him, and wants to feel his stomach. He agrees, but when Light and Taryn return, the chaos that ensues when everyone wants to feel the baby ends with Taryn falling into a fountain. On the cab ride back, Light and L share a special moment when Light puts his hand on L's stomach to feel the baby._


	13. Votre Femme Fatale I

_Chapter Summary__: Light and L learn someone is in their apartment, posing as Light's wife. Naturally, people don't do such things without an agenda…_

_Objectionable Material__: Theme of story and minor language. Rated T._

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**XIII. Votre Femme Fatale  
>Part I<strong>

Light and L were returning from a day trip to see a historic castle outside the city- well, it was supposed to involve touring the castle, but it had turned into a day trip to sit in a gift shop café. Light conceded that it was his own fault. He hadn't realized that reaching the site involved a considerable trek up a large hill; by the time they reached the top, L was in no mood to do anything else. They rested at some tables outside the café, walked around the garden and the lowest floor a little, then returned to the café to rest again and have lunch.

They had returned home and were approaching the elevator, when the building manager stopped them.

"Monsieur Yagami, Il y a quelqu'un dans votre appartement," he said. "Eh… votre femme."

Light looked at the man blankly, and L came to his aid. "Apparently, your wife is in our apartment."

"What?" Light asked. "Are you sure that's what he said?"

"Yes," L replied, slightly annoyed at being doubted.

"Ah, pardon, but yes," the manager said. "A woman who is your wife is in your apartment." He glanced at L, raising an eyebrow. "Perhaps your little friend would wait down here?"*

"No," Light said. "He'll come with me. I think I know what this is about…"

* * *

><p>Light opened the door. Sure enough, Misa was sitting on their couch. She jumped up when she saw him.<p>

"Raito!" She exclaimed, rushing towards him. Her short skirt flapped as she bounded across the room, and her blonde hair bounced playfully. She was dressed in her usual manner; tiny pleated skirt, red and black corset, and striped thigh-high socks. None of it was appropriate considering the weather.

"Uh… Misa," he said, hugging her cautiously as she threw her arms around him. L lingered back, seeming almost afraid of the girl. "How did you get here?"

"I got the address from your mother. I came to see you!"

Light released Misa, and she let go of him reluctantly. "Why did you tell the building manager you were my wife?"

"Well," she said. "It was just a little fib. He looked like he wasn't going to let me in, so I had to say something to get your key."

"You have our key?" Light asked, trying not to sound too dissatisfied. "Why did you need to come in so badly? Couldn't you wait until we came back?"

"I wanted to surprise you," she said, crossing her arms. "I came to sort out what you were doing, and make you return home with me."

"Return home? Misa," he said, "I'm not leaving here." He could already tell this was going to go badly.

"But you're my boyfriend!"

Light shook his head. "No, I'm not. Not anymore."

"But…no…" she whimpered. Her demeanor changed, and she looked concerned. "Raito…"

"Misa, no. I'm not your boyfriend."

"No!" Misa said, grasping his shoulders, desperately. "Yes you are!"

Light pulled away from her, gently but firmly. "Misa, I'm staying here. You shouldn't have come out here if you thought you could convince me to go back with you."

Her expression hardened as she caught sight of L. "It can't be… because of him?" Her voice became angry and raw in a way Light had never heard before. "Your family told me, but I couldn't believe them! Light, that's not right-" She turned to L, doing a double take. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked, staring at him.

At nearly seven months, L's condition was certainly noticeable.

Light took Misa's hands gently, and said, "Ryuzaki and I are a couple. He's pregnant… with my child."

"What?" Misa said. She glared at L again. "One of those freaks!" she spat. "Raito! How could you? This is wrong!"

"Misa-san," L said. "Perhaps we-"

"You shut up!" She shouted. "Raito… this can't be. You're just not in your right mind. You have to come home, and you'll see, you'll remember. This is just… you're just sick! Come back with me, and you'll get better!"

"Misa," Light grasped her shoulders. "I'm not coming back with you. I'm with Ryuzaki."

"He can't understand you! Not like I do! No one will ever love you like I do."

Light looked at L, who was chewing his thumb and watching, but trying to stay as far away from the situation as possible. "He understands me better than you do."

"I've seen who you really are." Misa shouted. "And I still love you. Do you think he really knows you?" She pulled away from Light.

"Misa," Light said, glaring knowingly at her, but trying to seem calm.

"What would he think of you?"

Light looked at her, with no response, and she scowled. "I'm going to put an end to this right now! You know what you really are."

"No, I'm not…" Light breathed, hopelessly. He could feel everything slipping away from him.

"L, would you like to know a secret about your true love? Would you like to know what he was planning to do to you?" She asked, her voice sickeningly smug. "Raito… has always been Kira."

* * *

><p><em>*When the manager says "your little friend," it is sort of meant to have a double meaning. The way you say 'boyfriend' in French is 'petit ami' which literally translates to 'little friend.'<em>

_Detailed Chapter Summary__: Misa has come to Paris, still smitten over Light. She is initially in denial over his relationship with L, but realizes the truth when she sees L is pregnant. Though furious, she still hopes to cure Light of his improper interest. When Light makes it clear that he is serious about L, she reminds Light that she has seen his dark side and still loves him; would L do the same?  
><em>


	14. Votre Femme Fatale II

_Chapter Summary__: Misa is back, and still obsessed with Light. Mad with jealously, she thinks of a sick way to take revenge on L._

_Objectionable Material__: Minor language. Psychologically stressful situation. Rated T+_

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**XIV. Votre Femme Fatale  
>Part II<strong>

"Ryuzaki, please!" Light said. "I'm sorry I lied to you! I stopped being Kira because of you! I swear!" He was grasping L's shirt, pathetically, as if he thought he might be able to keep him from leaving by clinging to his clothing. "I swear on my life I'm not Kira anymore! You have to forgive me!"

L shook his head. "Raito-kun… Do you think that I didn't know you were Kira? I knew the whole time. You weren't fooling anyone. I just never had anyway to prove it."

Light froze, and looked into his eyes. "You knew? And you still wanted to be with me? Why?"

L shrugged, and Light slowly released the grip on his shirt. He chewed the tip of his thumb pensively. "Well… I liked you. And I noticed you stopped being Kira on your own, so, I figured it wasn't going to be a problem anymore."

Misa looked disgusted, and shocked. "I knew you two seemed to be getting weirdly close while you were chained together. Once Raito and I got our memories back, I thought it would stop!"

"No," Light said. "I liked him even more, and I realized I had to put an end to Kira."

"Were you fucking back then as well?" Misa hissed.

"No… we never…" Light stammered. "I just liked him. I didn't even understand it."

"Where are the notebooks?" L asked, curiously, keeping his fingers in the vicinity of his mouth.

"Rem took them back to the shinigami world. I said the only way to protect Misa would be to make sure they never ended up here again, so no one could prove how she killed."

"I see… and you didn't want to kill me once your memories of being Kira returned?"

Light hesitated. "I… realized very quickly that I would never be able to do it." He swallowed, realizing how awful that sounded. "It's not like I turned back into Kira. I was still the person who cared about you- a good person… who had learned a terrible secret about myself." He looked at L, and saw that once again he could not read the blank expression on his face.

"I'm going to tell you the truth. And at least you'll know I'm being honest… because it's not going to sound good," Light admitted. "I hated you at first. You were the perfect nemesis, and it was like destiny had brought us together. You were under my skin and in my head, anticipating my every move… and I wanted to destroy you. And when my memories came back, so did that feeling that we were always destined to be connected." Light breathed shakily. "But I didn't hate you anymore. I put all the pieces together and… saw we were perfect for each other." Light turned to Misa. "Ryuzaki and I have a connection that I'll never have with anyone else. No matter what you say, I'm not coming back with you."

Misa was glaring at him, fury in her eyes. "No," she growled. "I'm you're soul mate! We are supposed to be together and create a perfect world." She pulled something out of her bag, and held it facing away from them, then slowly turned around, revealing that she was scribbling frantically in a black notebook.

Light gasped. _No. It can't be._

"I bet you didn't know I had this!" She shouted. "Rem gave it back to me after the Kira case closed."

"No," Light said.

"Yes! And," she pointed at L, smiling, "I can finally see your name! So, you two get to die together!"

"Misa! Don't'!" Light shouted.

She was grinning wildly, looking crazed. "Nah ah!" she warned, waiving a finger at Light. "Not another step. I have one letter left on each of your names and I'll be done before you can reach me."

"You're going to kill us anyway, so I might as well try. And if I don't make it, I'll have 40 seconds to write your name down too. So, just put down the notebook and talk about this."

"Hm… I think I know how to make you boys play nice with me. I'm only going to kill one of you. If you both cooperate, I'll let one of you live."

Light stared at her in horror. "Misa, this is just sick."

"I'm just getting started," she said, hovering the pen over the notebook. "I'm going to let you decide who."

"Fine!" Light shouted. "Me! Let Ryuzaki go."

"I knew you'd say that; you probably think that's fair- a way to repent for your crimes as Kira. But I didn't mean _you_, Raito. I meant him," she grinned wickedly, pointing at L. "Ryuzaki, you get to decide."

"Ryuzaki, pick me!" Light shouted. "It's my fault all this started in the first place!"

Misa ignored him, and continued addressing L. "Knowing how principled you are, I think you'll choose to sacrifice yourself; after all, you're the one who never solved the case. You ran off to France, and that's why the second Kira was able to rise again."

"That is all correct," L said softly.

"It's an easy choice isn't it… but wait, if you give yourself up, the baby dies too. That complicates things, doesn't it?" She said in a mockingly light-hearted voice.

"Misa stop it!" Light shouted.

"Who will it be, L? Light or your baby?"

"Ryuzaki, let her kill me! This is my fault!"

"Light would want you to save the baby, wouldn't he…"

"I know," L whispered.

"But can you really watch him die right in front of you? Watch his eyes become empty and lifeless?"

"No…" he said.

"Hurry up, L, time is running out."

"MISA DON'T," Light shouted.

"Come on L, or I'll kill all three of you." She lowered the pen. "What's it going to be?" 

* * *

><p><em><span>Detailed Chapter Summary<span>__: Misa reveals that Light is Kira, hoping to destroy his relationship with L. L explains that he knew all along, and was content when Light ceased being Kira of his own accord. Light gives a heart felt explanation of how he fell in love with L and even Misa can't deny his feelings are real. Angry and jealous, she threatens to write their names in the deathnote, but then favors a more depraved idea; leaving one of them alive, and letting L pick who._


	15. Votre Femme Fatale III

_Chapter Summary__: Misa completes her plotted revenge, but it turns out a little differently than we might expect._

_Objectionable Material__: References to nude cuddling (relatively non-sexual) and possibly adult situations. Particular attention drawn to the MPREG theme. Rated T+_

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**XV. Votre Femme Fatale  
>Part III<strong>

Misa pressed the pen to the page and waited. "Fine," She said when no answer came, and scribbled quickly in the book.

"MISA!" Light shouted, lunging at her. He grabbed the blonde girl and threw her to the ground, and she fell in a heap on the hardwood floor. He tried to wrestle the notebook out of her hands in a rage, as she struggled and swung at him. She was crying uncontrollably, gripping it with both hands. He managed to get the thing away from her, snatched the pen off the floor and began scrawling frantically on the page. Then he paused and looked at it, drawing back.

"This… this isn't the deathnote."

"No!" Misa sobbed, still sprawled pathetically on the floor.

He looked at the page, seeing she had written the characters for "Yagami Raito," and beneath it, " L Ryuzaki." She didn't even really know L's name.

Light held the notebook in his shaking hands for several minutes, watching Misa, who cowered on the floor before him, her shoulders heaving as she wept.

"Why did you do this?" he asked.

"Because I hate you," she sobbed.

* * *

><p>Light stood with Misa on a bridge over the Seine. She wasn't dangerous… just crazy and heartbroken. When he realized that, he went on a walk with her after she calmed down.<p>

"Did you plan that all along?" He asked. They stood with their backs to the railing, looking over the bridge to the water on other side.

"No," she said quietly. "I was going to tell him you were Kira, and I brought the fake notebook in case he didn't believe that I was the second Kira. I knew it wasn't convincing if anyone looked closely, but I thought your initial reaction to it would be enough to give you away."

She sighed sadly and placed her hands in her pockets. "Then when he didn't care… I saw how you looked at each other, and I knew you loved him more than me." Her eyes filled with tears and she shouted, "And I couldn't bear it! I wanted you to know what it feels like to loose everything. And L? I hated him so much, I just wanted to make him suffer. I wanted to corrupt him… ruin his sense of justice… show him even he's capable of horrible sacrifices."

"You thought of all of that on the spot?" Raindrops began splashing down from the sky, and Light pulled the hood of his jacket over his head.

"Yeah," she said, calming down. "I didn't think beyond telling him you were Kira. I never expected him to be okay with it."

Light frowned. "That's actually very impressive… disturbing that a sick plan like that came to you so easily. But impressive that you could think so quickly."

Misa looked small, with her face hidden beneath her hood, and her tiny legs extending from her short skirt. She stood hunched over, looking her feet as her boots became splattered with raindrops. "I'm going to go tomorrow," she said. "I had a ticket arranged incase you didn't want me back. I was going to ruin your relationship with L, and then leave."

"You realize I wasn't trying to kill you with the notebook?" Light said.

"I could never kill you either," Misa said softly.

Light shook his head. "What you did was extremely cruel."

"I know. And I'm not sorry," she hissed.

"In a way, I suppose I understand why you did it." 

* * *

><p>L was standing on the balcony in the rain. His clothes were completely soaked through, and his hair matted down against his face. He wasn't wearing shoes, and his toes were becoming numb, along with his fingers and the tip of his nose.<p>

He had picked up the notebook after Light took Misa out of the apartment. He was curious to see if Light had really tried to kill Misa, and discovered that beneath the false name Misa had written for him, Light had scribbled a few lines:

_L survives 23 days. Baby delivered safely by c-section during final week. Cause of death painless. Dies peacefully, knowing he was loved._

He wasn't sure why he had come outside. Perhaps it was because he simply didn't know what else to do. His mind was too drained to determine what made sense.

He heard the front door open, then muffled footsteps from inside. The door behind him opened.

"What are you doing?" Light asked. "Are you out of your mind? Come back in before you get sick."

Light stepped into the rain, and grasped his shoulder.

"Come inside," he said quietly. "Aren't you freezing?"

L shifted slightly, but didn't speak. Light sighed and wrapped his arms around him from behind. They stayed like that for several minutes, water soaking through their clothes and dripping over their skin.

Light spoke finally. "Misa is going home," he commented, his mouth only a few inches away from L's ear. "She said she wasn't sorry, but I think she is."

L still didn't respond. Tears were running down his face, but the rain disguised them

"Today was the first time I was really afraid of dying," he said finally. "There have been other times I thought I might be killed, and I always hoped it wouldn't happen. But today was the first time I knew exactly why I didn't want to die, and felt truly afraid."

Light didn't say anything, and L wondered if perhaps he was crying and trying to hide it as well. He just stood there, squeezing L more tightly, the warmth of his body shielding against some of the sharp, bitter cold.

"You know that I love you," Light said softly. He paused for a moment. "Please come inside. I want to dry you off." 

* * *

><p>L stood in the bedroom as Light undressed him. He tossed the soaking clothes into the bathroom, where they landed on the tile floor. He made L sit on the bed and took a large towel to his dripping hair. L was silent and naked, still looking traumatized, or numb, or perhaps just exhausted.<p>

Light moved to drying his chest, then back, then shoulders, and so on. When he was finished, he tilted L's chin up and kissed him gently on the lips.

"You're shivering," Light said. "Get under the covers and I'll warm you up." He removed his own clothes and threw them haphazardly into the bathroom, then joined L in bed, spooning against him from behind so their bodies pressed together.

"Raito-kun was right," L said. "It was foolish to stand in the rain like that." The feeling was just beginning to creep back into his fingers and toes. Light grasped his hand and laced their fingers together.

"It's alright." Light smiled and kissed the back of his neck. "I won't complain about anything that leads to you being naked in bed with me." Light ran his hands down L's chest, then over the round curve of his stomach. Misa had noticed it with such disgust, and for some reason that seemed strange to Light. Indeed L's abdomen had grown quite large- shockingly different from the flat, toned muscles he had fallen in love with months ago. But he didn't find it disgusting at all; in fact there was something appealing about it. He knew L didn't feel comfortable looking this way, and it was a rare occurrence that he got to run his hands over his completely naked body, without L trying to hide himself or roll away to keep Light from touching his stomach. But right now, L was laying there, letting Light enjoy it without interference.

"Raito-kun?"

"Hm?"

"Why did you decide that you like me more than Misa-san?"

"Ugh," Light said, with a laugh. "Because she's _so_ annoying. I think it's mostly her voice."

"You like my voice more?"

"Yes, your voice has an even tone that's … very sexy," Light playfully bit L's shoulder. "And you're much smarter than Misa."

"Today she was very smart."

"Actually," Light admitted, "She was, wasn't she?"

L shifted, then asked casually, "Would you like to know a secret?"

"Sure."

"I used to be very jealous of Misa-san."

"Oh," Light smiled. "Is that so? Well I'll have you know there are a lot of things I've done to you that I have never done to her."

L snuggled closer against him.

Light buried his face in the crook of L's neck and shoulder. "Ryuzaki… I'm sorry that I was Kira."

L nodded. "I forgive you," he said. "And, I'm sorry that you thought you were disguising it well."

"Ryuzaki…" Light said. He was quiet for a moment, then gripped L with both hands, tickling him mercilessly, causing him to writhe and flinch.

"Stop it!" He cried. "Raito-kun! Stop!" He tried to pull away, and Light released him.

"Ryuzaki, you should behave yourself better," Light said. "And then I wont have to do such things to you." He wrapped his arms back around L, and remained that way until they fell asleep. 

* * *

><p><em><span>Detailed Chapter Summary<span>__: Misa forces L to decide between killing Light, or giving himself up and causing the baby to die as well. When he hesitates to long, she writes both their names in the notebook. Light lunges at her, and snatches away the book, and begins writing something else on the page. Then he notices that the book is actually a fake; Misa was simply using it to psychologically torment him and L. As it turns out, she was, somewhat remarkably, improvising the entire scheme on the spot. Light goes on a walk with her and consoles her, and she decides to leave the next morning. _

_ Meanwhile, L, alone in the apartment, has picked up the fake notebook to see what Light was writing, fearing he was trying to retaliate by killing Misa. He discovers that Light actually tried to change the details of his death, allowing him to survive long enough to ensure the baby's safety. L goes out onto the balcony in the rain, trying to process everything, but is too drained to really think. _

_ Light returns and stands with L in the rain for a while, then brings him inside to dry him off and warm him up. They cuddle in bed together, and Light is somewhat fascinated by L's body, and enjoys the rare opportunity to freely touch L's growing stomach. They talk and cuddle until they fall asleep._

* * *

><p><em>So let's see. L is ~7 months pregnant at this point, and by my calculations, there should be a baby fairly soon. Like in another 4 months right?<em>

_Out of curiosity, I've been wondering how people found this story, and what drew their attention to it. (I've never written a fanfic before, so I'm not really sure how this works). If any one wants to shed some light on this, either through the reviews or by private message, it would be greatly appreciated._

_And as always, thank you all so much for your reviews. I really hope everyone is enjoying this story so far. _


	16. Losing Focus

_Chapter Summary__: L "suffers" from increased sex drive, and crawls back into bed to take care of it himself when Light leaves to run errands. However, through some combination of guilt and unfamiliarity with the process, he repeatedly ends up daydreaming._

_Objectionable Material__: Masturbation, and a particularly kinky fantasy. Dub-con, humiliation, BDSM, abuse. Rated M.  
>(*It's definitely dirty, but its clear from the context that its just for fun. I've read other things involving legitimate BDSMabuse, and this does not come close.)_

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**XVI. Losing Focus**

L lay under the covers in their bed. Light had gone out early in the morning as usual, to run some errands and get groceries. L had been awake at that time, and Light informed him that at noon, the cleaning woman Taryn recommended would be coming by to do laundry, change bed sheets, and most importantly vacuum and dust. Light had done a decent job of keeping their place tidy, but by Taryn's standards, it was unfit. How was he supposed to know to vacuum the drapes?

L had gotten back into bed after Light left. It was now late in the morning, and sunlight shone through the window; against the white walls and the white sheets, it was impossibly bright in the room. Luckily he was not trying to sleep.

He rolled onto his side. Perhaps changing positions would help. What he was trying to accomplish was proving even more difficult than sleeping in a sun filled room.

"_Ryuzaki," Light said, tugging brutally on the chain that bound his wrists together, tightening it, rendering his arms effectively immobile. "You complain too much."_

_He was on his knees, bent over a bed in a dimly lit room, with his face pressed into the sheets, and his arms chained in front of him, extending across the mattress towards the other side._

"_You whine incessantly that I'm too rough with you," Light said, standing over him, his demeanor cocky and threatening. Light was shirtless, his lightly tanned skin and defined muscles exposed. He was wearing black pants and a leather belt with small metal studs around his waist. L was completely naked._

"_Perhaps," Light said, "That's because you don't realize how easy you've got it."_

_L couldn't speak, of course, because of the large ball gag secured in his mouth. But he looked helplessly up at Light, with fear in his eyes._

"_You don't appreciate how carefully I treat you."_

(What a freak Light would consider him, if he knew the kind of thoughts he was having.)

"_Perhaps a little lesson would help you understand?"_

(No, that wasn't fair. This was his imagination. He could fantasize about whatever he wanted.

He rolled onto his back again, and closed his eyes.)

"_Perhaps a little lesson would help you understand?" Light knelt down and slid a box out from beneath the bed. L whined against the ball gag and pulled back uselessly on the chains._

_Light grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked his head up sharply. "You're not going anywhere!" He snapped._

_He reached into the box, and L could hear him rummaging around. "Ah…" He said at last. "Perfect." He held an enormous black dildo in front of L's face. "This should fit nicely, don't you think?"_

L paused again. What did a dildo look like? He was sure he had seen one at some point, but now, trying to recall what it looked like… No! That wasn't important to the fantasy. This was why he kept losing focus.

He sighed heavily, looking at the ceiling, his cock softening in his hand. He was not good at this. He was so inexperienced he was disappointing even himself. What did Light see in him, he wondered.

He wouldn't be bothering with this except that his hormones were driving him crazy. He had read about it in one of Taryn's books- it was common towards the end of pregnancy- but he didn't want to say anything about it. Light kept him satisfied on a regular basis… but he wasn't there at the moment. And L was so distracted by arousal that he resorted to taking care of it himself.

And indeed, he was not good at it. Before Light, he didn't pleasure himself often because of his low level of desire. And since then, he never needed to. Sometimes he wanted to, but he felt ashamed, like Light would find out somehow- which made no sense, because Light certainly still masturbated. L had come across a substantial library of porn on his computer.

He hadn't been _looking_ for it; he had simply stumbled upon it. He should have closed the file, and left it alone, but curiosity got the better of him, and he looked through the videos. Most of them intrigued him, in an almost academic way. They all involved girls (he wasn't sure if that made it better or worse.) Many involved actions he had never seen before, and would never have thought to do. They were so graphic and visceral. And he considered it strange that these people had done such things before a camera... But they didn't seem to mind. It was fascinating.

Some videos he found disgusting, and a few others even erotic. There was one large collection, however, that bothered him because it featured a girl who looked a lot like Mayu. She was shorter, and actually not as pretty, but there was certainly a resemblance.

L eased the knot in his stomach by reassuring himself this indicated Light's preference for people with dark-hair and light skin, not for slim girls with small round breasts.

He had never really watched porn himself… perhaps he should. That might facilitate things. He was about to go out of his mind with pent up sexual tension, and yet every time he tried to relieve it, he became distracted by guilt, or fixated on small pointless details- probably guilt in another form. Even in the privacy of his own mind, he was simply too embarrassed to actually enjoy fantasizing about being tied up and tormented.

And why the heck were his fantasies so perverse? Really. A ball gag? What the hell was wrong with him? Why couldn't he fantasize about something normal like making love on a beach? No, of course it was being stripped naked and forced to bend over, restrained with chains…

"_This should fit nicely, don't you think?"_

_L let out a muffled cry of protest, his eyes pleading for mercy. Light grinned evilly and held up the large object so L could watch him spread a thick, glistening layer of lube over it._

"_I think we both know where this is going."_

_Light walked around behind him, and knelt down. L tried to turn his head to see what was about to happen._

"_I'm sorry to have to do this to you, but it's for your own good. You need to learn how much harder you could have it, and I think this is just the way to show you. After having this inside you, I'm sure you'll never complain again." _

_Light spread L's legs open and pressed the tip of the object against his clenched opening. _

"_Oh, Ryuzaki. That's not going to do you any good," Light said, forcing the toy past the futile resistance. L cried out against the gag in his mouth as the object violated him, inch by inch deeper into his body. Light smiled wickedly. "I knew it would fit. You just needed to be stretched a little," he said, slipping it further inside, torturously slowly. "I wonder how deep you can take it?"_

_L struggled against the chains on his wrists, writhing in pain, groaning and biting down on the ball gag. Saliva was dripping over the rubber orb and running down his chin._

_Light leaned in close to his ear. "Do you like it, Ryuzaki?"_

_L whimpered and shook his head._

"_The way I usually fuck you doesn't seem so bad, does it?"_

_L nodded pitifully in agreement. _

_Light began thrusting the phallic object in and out, and L continued to moan in pain. "I know you think you've learned your lesson, but this is just to make sure you don't forget. You're not going to forget this are you?"_

_L shook his head again, as the giant object pumped in and out of him and he shuddered involuntarily._

"_Take it," Light growled into his ear._

_L was moaning deeply, but he couldn't help arching backwards slightly to allow the object deeper inside. _

"_You're a fast learner aren't you?" Light asked._

There was a knock on the door. L gasped and rolled onto his side, pretending to be asleep.

The door cracked open.

Oh God, who was it? Taryn? Mayu? Please not Mayu…


	17. Nothing Unusual

_Chapter Summary__: Light returns early from his errands, and discovers L in bed, apparently 'taking a nap.' After Light realizes what L is really up to, he makes a joke about it. L becomes embarrassed and afraid that Light will torment him mercilessly. But maybe Light will decide instead to… torment him mercilessly in another sense.  
><em>

_Objectionable Material__: Sexual content, mild pain and humiliation. Rated M._

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**XVII. Nothing unusual**

"Ryuzaki?" Light asked. "What are you doing in bed? It's almost eleven."

"Oh…" L said, lifting his head slowly. "I was just taking a nap."

"Ah…" Light said. "I see." He entered, and shut the door carefully. "I take naps that way too sometimes- naked and holding my cock."

L's face flushed with embarrassment. "How can you tell I'm naked?" He asked, trying to sound accusatory, as though perhaps he was not naked.

"I can't really. But I can tell you're holding your cock, so I only assume you're naked," Light said. L didn't respond. "Anyway," Light continued, turning to go. "Carry on."

"Wait- " L said. "Maybe you can stay?"

"You mean…"

"I seem to be having some trouble," L admitted. "I think the real thing would be much better."

Light frowned, curiously. "You were thinking about me?"

L scowled, glad his face was obscured by the covers again, so Light couldn't see him blushing. "And what's wrong with that?"

"Well, nothing. It's just, you realize you can fantasize about whoever you want, right? Statistically, most people don't think about their partners."

"Yes, I've heard that too," L said bitterly. "Statistically, its more common to think about small black haired girls who look like Mayu."

"She does not look- " Light paused. "How do you know- " He stopped himself again. "Um… who are you talking about, Ryuzaki?" He asked innocently.

"Oh please," L said. "I know you're very familiar with the skinny porn starlet who resembles our dear friend."

"You were looking through my computer!" Light's expression was indignant, but then melted away and became wary. "How much did you watch?"

"Most of it," L said, without remorse. "Anyway, irrespective of any interest you may harbor, _I _am not attracted to Mayu, and these recollections are only making it more impossible for me to… deal with my problem."

Light raised an eyebrow. "So, what was happening in this fantasy?"

L bit his lip. "Nothing unusual."

"Suit yourself," Light said. "Withholding information will only make it more difficult for me to," Light climbed on the bed and hovered over him, "give you exactly what you want."

The temptation of actually getting what he wanted might be worth the embarrassment of having to say it out loud. "Okay," L said, swallowing, and biting his lip even harder. "You were… well… I was tied up."

"Hm," Light said. "I like the sound of that."

L sighed heavily. "It doesn't matter because we can't actually do any of it."

Light frowned. "You should just tell me, because now I'll picture things that are probably much worse."

"No, it's nothing too strange," L said thoughtfully. "We just don't have the necessary equipment, like… chains or a dildo or a ball gag."

"Wow."

"I knew I shouldn't tell you."

"I stand corrected," Light said under his breath. "I was not going to picture anything worse… Who was wearing the ball gag?"

L looked away. "That would be me."

Light smirked and leaned over L, running a hand through his dark hair. "This may surprise you, but I do have it in me to be very…" He gripped a handful of hair and jerked L's head up. "Dominant." L's eyes widened, and Light continued, "I want you to tell me every detail of your fantasy." He leaned towards L's ear, still tugging at his hair. "That's not a request."

L looked up at him, with he head strained back painfully. "You… you put the ball gag into my mouth and chained my hands above my head so I couldn't move or speak."

"Keep going," Light commanded. He wasn't lying about being dominant, L realized; he was very good at playing this role.

"You were punishing me for something," L cringed as Light pulled back on his hair again. "For complaining too much."

"You'll have to be more specific than that," Light said, darkly.

"You were forcing a large sex toy into me."

"What a perfect way to punish you," Light said, with an evil smile, exactly as L had imagined. "Lay on your side," he ordered, forcing L roughly onto the bed. "Unfortunately, I don't have any large sex toys to shove up your ass- and that's really a shame because I would love to do that- but I can still think of a few ways to punish you."

L felt a chill of pleasure run through his body, as the other spooned against him from behind. A hand reached over his face and covered his mouth. Not quite a ball gag but… still fairly effective.

"Ryuzaki," Light said, reaching under the pillow for the bottle of lube. With his free hand, he clicked open the cap and squeezed this liquid onto his fingers. "I want you to do exactly as I say."

L nodded, then felt lube slicked fingers slide between his buttocks, and press against his entrance, trying to get inside.

"I was going to fuck you," Light said. "But I think you'll enjoy that too much." Light slid one finger inside. "So instead, we're going to try an experiment," He slipped his finger out, then pushed it back in slowly, "And see how many fingers you can take."

Light certainly was good at improvising, L thought, as he felt the man restraining him push in another finger and begin thrusting more vigorously. He whimpered into the palm that was pressed against his mouth.

"Stop your whining," Light ordered. "We're only at two. This is nothing. In fact, it seems like you need another one…"

L shook his head, but Light ignored him, whispering, "I know you can take it." He worked in a third finger, and L truly let out a cry of discomfort, which was also ignored. "My cock is bigger than this. This should be no problem for you."

L hadn't expected this persona to come so easily to Light. He tried not to speculate as to whether the younger man had practice with others… perhaps Misa… No, he doubted Light could show such enthusiasm with Misa. Perhaps someone else…

Light's voice brought him back from his wandering thoughts. "I thought three might be your limit," he mused. He pressed his fingers deep inside and L couldn't help but struggle and try to writhe away from the rough invasion. "But you're not even crying in pain… Don't worry. We'll fix that."

L became anxious. The only thing left to do was fit in another finger, but he couldn't truly intend to…

L felt Light withdraw all the way, and when he began pressing back inside, the deep aching and painful stretching left no question he had added the fourth finger. He moved slowly, gently working his way in, letting L adjust; it hardly helped. There was a big difference between three and four. It felt like Light's whole hand was shoving into him.

"Mmmmm!" L whined into the palm that was pressed over his mouth, preventing him from speaking. He squeezed his eyes shut, against the increasing pain.

"Oh…" Light whispered in mock sympathy. "Poor Ryuzaki. Does it hurt?"

L whined again and nodded.

"Good," Light hissed.

An intense wave of pleasure swept over L's body. Why did it feel so good to be abused this way?

"Stop struggling," Light said harshly, pressing his hand more firmly over L's mouth, restraining his head. He began moving his other hand in a slight pumping motion inside the defenseless man he was tormenting.

"Why don't you keep touching yourself, like you were earlier? The faster you cum, the faster I'll take my fingers out …"

L hesitated. He had never pleasured himself in front of Light-

He cried out as Light's fingers rammed into him brutally. "That wasn't a request," Light said.

Not wanting another painful violation, L grasped his own erection and began stroking himself at a steady pace. Light resumed gentler stimulation, slowly slipping his fingers deeper, seductively teasing and exploring the warm, tight flesh. Despite the fact that it was nerve-wracking and painful to accommodate so much, L couldn't deny the deep pleasure that pulsed through him from even the slightest movement of Light's fingers. It would not take long at all to finish what he had been trying to do all morning.

"Show me how you like to be touched." Light breathed. He was trying to sound commanding, but it was clear he was overwhelmed with arousal as well.

L closed his eyes as he felt the tension building in his body. He tried to yell in pain, as Light's fingers were unexpectedly shoved deep inside him, but at the same moment, Light covered his mouth even more firmly, silencing him, and laughed sadistically. Restrained and humiliated, L reached the peak of his pleasure. He squeeze his eyes shut, feeling his body tense, holding his breath. Light's hand muffled the noises that escaped his mouth as he climaxed. He continued pumping his fist over his cock until he had spilled all his cum onto the bed sheets. Then he fell limp on the mattress, taking deep heaving breaths, hearing his heart beat loud in his ears, and feeling dizzy from it.

Light let him recover for a few moments, then leaned close to his ear, and whispered, "What an adorable freak you are."


	18. Count Down

_Chapter Summary__: It's New Years Eve and Mayu is having her annual private party to avoid the crowds of tourists that descend upon Paris. But at 8 months pregnant, L isn't feeling well and doesn't want to go anywhere._

_Objectionable Material__: Particular attention drawn to the MPREG theme. Rated T+_

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**XVIII. Count Down**

By late December, L was not happy with his condition at all. His entire body ached, and walking was difficult. In fact, sitting and lying down were hardly better. Light was his salvation, happily catering to his every need, as though competing for the 'expecting father of the year' award.

"You should make an appointment to go to the doctor," Taryn suggested one evening. L was sitting on the sofa in her living room, leaning forward while she massaged his lower back. Taryn's daughter, Rebecca, around a year and a half old, observed them from her playpen. The girl had light blonde hair like Taryn, and a cute round face. L felt a pang of excitement, knowing soon he would meet his own child- a child that would probably have some of his features.

At the appointment, the doctor explained that L's body was particularly strained by the pregnancy because he wasn't set up to carry a child. "Your hips aren't wide enough to support the baby. That's the main problem," he said. "It's not bad for you necessarily, just uncomfortable. We'll just schedule your C-section sooner rather than later."

He was due at the end of January, so they made the appointment for a week earlier.

"With that appointment, we should be able to get it done before you ever go into labor," the doctor said. "But babies aren't always considerate of other people's schedules, so you might be surprised with early contractions. That's not a problem at all. Just come to the hospital and we'll do the procedure then. But," he set his clipboard down. "You must come _right away_. It's not possible for you to deliver without a C-section, and if we don't get the baby out, you'll have very serious complications- probably fatal complications."

L cringed. Death wasn't what he worried about. That seemed avoidable; he would simply come to the hospital if he went into labor. It was actually the more likely scenario- the best-case scenario- that scared him; even a successful, complication free C-section still amounted to having his stomach sliced open.

He recalled how Mayu had described C-sections. She had heard about them from a male friend who had witnessed one performed on his wife. "He said that all her organs kind of spilled out of her body, and after they took out the baby, they were basically trying to stuff her intestines back inside and force it closed." Out of curiosity, L hadn't stopped her, but now, closer to the reality of his own procedure, he wished he had. It occurred to him that she should have seen how it was inappropriate to tell a story like that to him. For the first time in his life, he faulted someone for failing to perceive social norms.

* * *

><p>New Years Eve was approaching, and Mayu announced she was hosting a party at her apartment. Evidently, it was a tradition.<p>

"My New Years Eve party is the best in Paris," she explained. "See, everyone who actually lives here knows that only tourists try to go out on New Years. Seriously, it sucks out there. It is _complete_ chaos. If you try to go the Eiffel tower, or some stupid club, it's going to be crowded like no other. And that won't even matter because you won't be able to get there in the first place."

"It's true," Taryn added. "If you want to have dinner, you should probably pick it up early in the day, because traffic is backed up everywhere in the city. It's actually quite unbelievable."

"No!" Mayu said. "Don't pick up dinner, come to my party! Tons of guests, the best music, fully catered. You wont need to ask to have your glass filled- and with the best champagne, at that. Seriously. You are going to hear a dial tone."

"What?" Light frowned.

"UGH, God," Taryn groaned. "Don't say it-"

"Because it is going to be OFF THE HOOK!"

Despite her annoyance, even Taryn agreed that it was, indeed, very likely to be off the hook. "You have to go out on New Years. It's going to be a while before you can get out again, after the baby arrives," she reminded.

The concept of the baby 'arriving' never made sense to L. The baby wasn't en route to Paris from some remote location; it was already right there. It just wasn't… participating yet.

He considered going to the party, but ultimately declined. "I don't want all your invited guests to stare at me."

"What! They won't stare!" Mayu insisted.

"Mm…" Taryn frowned, and said truthfully, "They will probably stare."

* * *

><p>On New Years Eve, a few hours before the party, Mayu made one final attempt. L declined once again, meaning of course that Light wasn't going to go either. On top of not wanting to be made a spectacle of, L just didn't feel up to going anywhere. He had been feeling particularly tired and unwell.<p>

"Alright" Mayu said. "Get some rest. If you're feeling better, you can come by afterwards and have some food. Taryn might still be there, and the four of us can have our own little celebration. My fridge is literally stuffed full of cocktail appetizers and caviar and desserts, so there is bound to be a lot left over."

L agreed, though he didn't think he would feel much like eating that late- especially considering he hadn't had an appetite all day.

Light and L stayed in, and relaxed. They could hear festivities from various places in the building, and from the street below, where absolute mayhem was taking place.

"They sure go crazy on New Years Eve in Paris," Light commented looking out the window.

A couple hours before midnight L was lying on the couch, drifting in and out of an uncomfortable sleep. He rolled onto his side. Something was hurting… badly. He flinched.

The realization of what it was snapped him awake. He sat up abruptly. No… It couldn't be.

"What's wrong?" Light asked.

"Oh no," L whispered. It wasn't possible. It was far too early.

He felt another pain in his stomach. It was unmistakable… and it had been going on so long, it was now fairly intense.

"Ryuzaki!" Light said, looking extremely nervous.

"It might be a false alarm," He said, breathing deeply, waiting. How had he not realized what these pains were?

"We can't risk it. We have to go," Light said.

They rushed down to the parking garage beneath the building, where their rented car was waiting. Light expertly maneuvered out of the cramped parking space, and sped up the two levels to the street, swerving around the curves.

He was careening up the last ramp, about to floor it out of the driveway, when he slammed on the brakes.

People… everywhere. The streets were filled with crowds, and traffic was at a complete standstill. They were blocked into the driveway, and from the looks of things, it would be a while before the cars in their way would even start inching forwards.

* * *

><p><em>This chapter took a long time to post. I messed up a project for my externship, as a result of caring about it much less than this story. In short, some people may have lost money because I was writing Death Note smut. So I had to deal with that before I would let myself edit this chapter. (The entire story was actually complete when I posted the first chapter, but I've published it in segments so I could read over each piece at least once). There may be a similar delay between now and when the final 2 chapters go up.<em>

_On an unrelated note, I'm worried because I know I printed the last several chapters of this story so I could mark them up whilst editing. Now those papers are missing. Really hoping that… it's not because one of my friends has found them, and is reading them and becoming extremely disturbed._


	19. Resolution

_Chapter Summary__: New Year's Eve traffic prevents Light and L from getting to the hospital. Light enlists Taryn and Mayu's help as he scrambles to find a solution._

_Objectionable Material__: MPREG, and non-graphic description of surgery. Rated T+_

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**XIX. Resolution**

"We're not moving." L whimpered. "It's been twenty minutes!"

"I know," Light said, trying not to panic. They had made it out of the driveway, and were about a block away from their building. It had become clear that L really was in labor, and traffic was barely creeping forward, moving only an inch or so every several minutes.

L grit his teeth and said, "Argh… Do something!" He grasped his stomach. "Oh God, I didn't think it would hurt this much!"

His moans soon turned into cries of excruciating pain. He began to sound frantic and desperate, muttering, "Please… Please. It hurts…"

There was nothing Light could do. They could only keep driving. He took L's hand, and tried to calm him. He waited and waited, until it was clear continuing made no sense at all. He couldn't bear sitting idly by, inching forward, while L was probably suffering some sort of physical trauma because of lack of medical care. After over half an hour, he decided they should walk the two blocks back to their building, and try to figure something out there. Staying in the car was doing no good.

When they got upstairs, he helped L lay on the couch. He was not doing well- pale, sweating, moaning in pain.

"I'll- I'll be right back," Light stammered.

"No!" L begged, but Light rushed out of the apartment. He walked down the hall to Mayu's.

Mayu and Taryn opened the door, revealing a lively party inside. Mayu was wearing a short, tight dress and a little crown that said "Happy New Year."

"Raito-san!" she said hugging him. Then she stepped back. "What's wrong?"

* * *

><p>When the girls got to Light and L's, it was dark inside- only the light in the kitchen had been left on. L lay on the couch, tears running down his face, moaning almost deliriously.<p>

Light had hoped that perhaps he was overreacting and panicking for no reason, but Taryn and Mayu seemed so taken aback at the sight of L, that he knew the situation was just as bad as he feared.

Taryn knelt next to L. "Sweetheart," she said, petting his damp hair. "Try to stay calm. We're going to help you very soon." She kissed him on the forehead.

The three of them gathered in the bedroom, and talked in hushed voices.

"Traffic won't be clear for hours," Mayu said. "Maybe an ambulance could get here somehow?"

"I already called one, but I don't think they'll make it," Light said. "Maybe we could have walked if we had done that right away, but we waited in the car for so long!"

"He doesn't look like he can walk at this point, and you certainly wouldn't be there yet," Taryn said. "You had to make a judgment call, and I think you made the right one. Mayu, do you think you could get them there if you drove?"

Mayu had a sports car, drove aggressively, and was vary familiar with all the streets and short cuts in the city. She had once driven Taryn to the airport in almost exactly half the time it was supposed to take. But, she maintained none of that would help. "Have you looked outside?" She said. "No one can get them there. Traffic is just at a standstill."

"What about the metros?"

"That's not going to be any better. Especially, since only certain lines are running."

L screamed particularly loudly from the living room, and the three rush out to check on him.

"Light, please!" He groaned, grasping his stomach. "It hurts so badly!"

Light knelt next to him and tried to calm him down. "Shh…" he said. "Breathe deeply."

"It's okay," Taryn said. "He's in pain, but I don't think he's in any danger quite yet." Mayu sat on the ground, next to L, and took his hand. Taryn pulled Light aside, and said quietly, "These are just contractions. Complications won't arise until his body starts trying to deliver the baby. And I think I know what to do."

Mayu looked up skeptically from gently squeezing L's hand.

"My husband's office is in this building. He does minor procedures there, and I think he can do the C-section. It's not ideal by any stretch, but we have to get the baby out." Taryn said.

"Taryn," Mayu said. "He's a cosmetic surgeon, not a… a C-section surgeon."

"Well, I know," She bit her nail, seeming to reflect on the situation. "But… he's done gender reassignment surgeries in the past, so he's familiar with… gender things. And when he found out I was friends with a pregnant male, he started researching the subject. He's actually extremely knowledgeable about it."

"Are you out of your mind? That's not the same thing!" Mayu said.

"Well of course I know it's not the same thing!" It was almost funny to see Taryn getting worked up while wearing something between a cocktail dress and an evening gown. Away from the party, she and Mayu both looked comically out of context. Mayu was sitting on the ground, trying to keep her short dress from riding up her thighs, and Taryn was pacing back and forth dramatically, becoming increasingly irritated with the lose champagne colored silk that billowed around her. "This is the situation," Taryn continued. "We have to do the surgery now, that means only someone who's _here_ can do it- me, you, Light, or Marcus. So unless one of you wants to volunteer, I think Marcus is the most qualified! Or perhaps Ryuzaki would like to do it himself? Or perhaps," she added, "One of your drunken party guests wants to take up the scalpel? At least Marcus is a type of surgeon! And honestly, even if he were an orthodontist, he'd still be the most qualified, so- so- "

"Taryn!" Light said. "Calm down." He turned to Mayu. "She's right. I don't think we have another choice."

* * *

><p>Taryn dashed upstairs to alert Marcus. She returned with a sort of lightweight stretcher (generally used to transfer patients to the recovery room after their facelifts), and instructions to meet Marcus in his office.<p>

Mayu helped L onto the stretcher, while Taryn and Light prepared to lift it. Suddenly, she drew back. "Oh my God, he's bleeding," she gasped.

It was true, Light realized, and he could see why Mayu was so disturbed. L was covered in blood; it had soaked through his pants, and onto the couch.

"Oh God," Mayu said, covering her mouth. "Oh… blood…. Oh my God, I'm going to be sick."

"It's okay," Taryn said. "That's normal." Though she noticeably did not offer any comforting explanation.

"None of this is normal," Mayu said, squeezing her eyes shut, looking as though she might faint.

"Don't be rude Mayu."

"I'm serious," Mayu said, breathing heavily. "This isn't normal. You don't know what's happening. He's bleeding from his ass probably because he's suffered every sort of internal injury possible! Oh my God, there's so much blood. Oh, God, I really think I'm going to be sick."

Taryn prepared to lift the stretcher, and looked calmly up at Mayu. "Mayu, if you don't calm down, I will really slap you. Walk behind us, and don't say anything else. You're just stressing everyone out."

Taryn carried one end of the stretcher, walking backwards, while Light held up the other. "She doesn't mean to do this," she said of Mayu, who was following them, several paces back. "Blood makes her freak out. She starts to go crazy and panic. It's some sort of psychological disorder."

Light was impressed at how strong Taryn was. She was speaking effortlessly, and didn't seem strained by the weight of the stretcher at all. "She also can't receive injections, or anything with needles. She has to take Valium first if she needs anything like that."

Light knew Taryn was talking a lot to try to distract him from the very dire state that L seemed to be in. He was covered in blood, shaking, breathing in gasps… Light wondered if this is what people looked like going into shock. He wished he could hold L's hand or do something to comfort him, but he needed both hands to carry the stretcher.

When they reached the office, Marcus Winters was already setting up.

"Lay him on the floor," Marcus said. The room didn't have an operating table, only chairs, like a dentist's office might. Marcus was impressively wearing appropriate surgical attire, despite having been roused from bed only a few minutes earlier. "Why do I always see you in the middle of the night?" He asked, glancing down at L.

L stared up at him through half closed eyes.

"Don't worry. I know what you're thinking, but I'm fully awake," He said, as he washed his hands at the sink. "I did a line of cocaine right after I got dressed."

L was in no state to appreciate the humor. He was still gasping in pain, tears streaking down his face.

"Marcus…" Taryn groaned.

Taryn, and Mayu stood aside, while Marcus crouched on he ground to remove L's pants and lift up his shirt. Dark bruises had appeared on his rounded belly. "Well, you're right," the doctor said. "You don't have time to get to the hospital. I was going to wait for the ambulance as long as possible, but it seems we've already done that."

Light was sitting on the ground, with L's head resting in his lap. L was sobbing with his face pressed against Light's stomach, and tears were soaking through his t-shirt.

"Is he listening?" Marcus asked, looking at L. "Whatever you do, don't push. No matter how much it hurts. You'll suffer serious injuries if you do. Do you understand?"

L nodded.

"I don't understand why the baby can't come out… you know, the way he was impregnated?" Mayu asked, still looking somewhat faint.

"Mayu!" Taryn scolded. "Because…" She hesitated. "Of course it can't."

Marcus jumped in. "He'd be lucky if it did. But the baby isn't positioned that way; If we don't make a cut, most likely he'll be in labor for hours with no where for the baby to go, until he suffers severe internal hemorrhaging, and then probably death."

"Bedside manner!" Taryn snapped.

"Sorry," Marcus shrugged. "I'm used to patients who want me to shatter and reset their facial bones so they can look better. People like that don't care about bedside manner."

L didn't seem to notice what Marcus was saying anyway. He was grasping Light's shirt, twisting it, and moaning, "Don't leave. Please don't leave," between sobs.

"I'm not going to leave," Light said. "It's going to be fine." He tried to keep his voice calm, but the bruising, and the fact that L seemed to be bleeding more had him fairly shaken up.

"Keep him calm. He already has some internal bleeding. If he goes into shock, this is going to be a lot worse."

Light stroked L's head. "Ryuzaki-chan, calm down. Take a deep breath," he said. L complied, and inhaled shakily.

"I can go ahead and do it, but this isn't the kind of surgery I usually perform."

"We have no choice," Light said.

Marcus told the group that he needed all of them to be his assistants- "Even you, Mayu."

The girls washed their hands and got dressed in scrubs and masks. Mayu's didn't fit properly, and she looked somewhat ridiculous, stumbling over her pant legs as they dragged on the ground. Taryn, on the other hand adapted to the role quite well. She quickly set up the heart monitor, and prepared the IV under Marcus' direction.

"Mayu, can you put the needle in?" Marcus requested.

"No, she'll throw up," Taryn interjected. "I'll do it."

"Alright, then Mayu can get my surgical tools."

"That might make her throw up too," Taryn muttered, recalling what some of the instruments looked like.

Mayu was tasked with arranging sterile sheets over L, so that only the site of the incision would be exposed.

"Does it feel better?" Light asked, after L received the anesthetic. He was breathing more slowly, and not writhing and screaming as before. He nodded slightly, with his eyes still pressed closed.

"Okay, we're ready." Marcus said. "Let me explain what I'm going to do. First I'm going to make a deep incision, here beneath the-"

Mayu and Light both erupted in protesting noises and gestures.

"Marcus, I swear to God. Nobody here besides you needs to know what you're about to do," Mayu said angrily. While Light had interjected out of concern for L, Mayu was mostly worried about herself, and the fact that she didn't want to hear anything regarding what was about to happen.

"Alright, then… let's get started," Marcus said.

L groaned, but Light comfortingly patted his head. "Our baby will be here soon," Light reminded. L smiled slightly, and Light leaned down and kissed him on the check, hoping to distract him from the clinking of metal tools.

"Mayu hand me that gauze… Taryn, press your hand right here..." Marcus looked up, and directed, "Turn his face away so he can't see. He wont be able to feel anything, but he might panic if he sees the cut being made, because all of his… well, there's going to be… just- just don't let him see."

Light turned L's head and covered his eyes.

"I'm fine, I won't panic," He muttered weakly. In fact, realizing that he was completely numb, he was sort of curious, and wanted to see if all his organs fell out.

"Sh," Light said. "I believe you but I'm still worried." He said softly. L decided it wasn't worth arguing about. He could sense that at this point, Light was more nervous than he was, so he relaxed and let Light press his hand over his eyes.

He couldn't see anything but he could hear voices. "Taryn make sure you don't Flinch," Marcus warned.

"I won't."

Everyone was silent for a moment, then he heard Mayu stumble backwards and faint, bringing down with her the rolling cart that bore the tray of tools. Everything clattered and clanged noisily as it hit the floor.

"She's okay. The cart broke her fall." Taryn said calmly.

"Keep pressing here while I pull…" Marcus said to Taryn. L could hear some sort of machine whirring, and a suctioning noise. Vacuuming up blood, he wondered? He could also hear the beeping of the heart monitor.

A few moments later, Taryn sighed in relief.

"Ha!" Marcus said triumphantly. "Boy!"

L exhaled deeply, as Taryn said, "Oh my gosh, he's beautiful!"

* * *

><p>The baby was still wet and disgusting, but Marcus had Taryn wrap it in towels and let L hold it against his chest while he was stitched up.<p>

L tried to sit up, but Marcus shouted to Light, "Don't let him see how much blood there is," and Light guided him back down.

"Bedside manner," Taryn whispered. She was trying to peer at the baby from where she sat doing what L could only presume was holding his stomach closed while Marcus finished stitching.

_He's so beautiful_, L thought, looking at his baby's face. The baby didn't really look like either of them yet, but it was so perfect.

"What's his name?" L asked, trying to gaze up at Light, whose lap he was still laying in.

"I don't know. Maybe we should ask him," Light joked.

"You can pick," L said weakly. He was feeling lightheaded for some reason… Blood loss? Anesthetic?

"How about Ryan?"

"Yes," L said distantly. "That's nice."

"Ryan Yagami?" Mayu said. "That's really cute." She was standing in the corner, facing the wall, taking care not to catch sight of… anything behind her.

After everything was cleaned up, and the baby was washed off, Marcus said, "You should go to the hospital when the streets clear."

"I just want to go home," L pleaded.

"You shouldn't be moving. Your stitches…"

"He doesn't like drawing attention to himself," Light interjected. "If we can get him home, can I call our usual doctor to come and see him in the morning? By the time the streets are clear, it'll only be a few hours until morning anyway."

Marcus agreed and L was carried home and allowed to rest in his own bed. He tried to ignore the fact, with the exception of Mayu, who had retreated to the kitchen in the interest of 'not being creepy,' Light, Taryn, and Marcus were all sitting in the corner of the room, watching him to make sure nothing went wrong.

* * *

><p><em>This chapter is probably full of inaccuracies as far as C-sections, surgeries in general, labor… I apologize that I had neither the time nor will to research these topics. <em>

_That being said, there are two things that I did not completely make up, that I thought may be of interest. First is the fact that Marcus' office is conveniently located in the same building. In France, the zoning laws are different than in the US and doctors may have their office in a building that is also residential. The second thing has to do with traffic on holidays. I once made the mistake of flying into Paris on bastille day, and I ended up in a traffic jam that was… just completely outrageous. Everyone was stopped and could have turned off their engines if they wanted to. I legitimately wondered what happens if someone needs to go to the hospital, because I couldn't see a way that would be possible. I assume that in real life, the city of Paris has some sort of solution to this problem. (And I admit, I've spent new years eve in Paris twice, and the traffic wasn't as bad as the bastille day debacle. But I said that I didn't 'completely' make up this aspect of the story, and I believe I'm protected by that qualifier.)_

_One more chapter to go!_


	20. Epilogue

_Chapter Summary__: The last chapter. L recovers from his surgery, and the baby is adorable and loved by all, especially Mayu. A few months later, everyone is gathered in the living room, chatting light-heartedly, and L realizes he is surrounded by family and friends._

_Objectionable Material__: Nothing particularly bad. Rated T._

_Disclaimer__: Death Note and affiliated characters are owned and created by Tsugumi Ohba and Takeshi Obata._

**XX. Epilogue**

As L recovered from the surgery, he was still too weak to care of baby Ryan, so Light took up most of the responsibilities. L stayed in bed, and Light tried to leave Ryan with him whenever possible, brining in bottles of formula and letting L feed him. He also set up a cradle in the room.

Mayu became a permanent fixture in the room as well. While she didn't care for pregnancy, she seemed to love the baby. She spent much of her time holding Ryan while snuggling in bed next to L. She was constantly gushing over how cute Ryan was, and she really disliked any attempt to cut off what she viewed as her 'turn' holding him. Taryn once suggested she let Light hold the baby, but Mayu clutched him to her chest and said, "No! Mine!"

Four months after his birth, Ryan had only become cuter. He had dark hair like L, but Light's eyes. L had recovered completely, and was happy to be able to walk around freely, after the months of incubating the child, and recovering from surgery. One afternoon he was in the kitchen helping Light prepare snacks. Mayu, Taryn, and Taryn's daughter, Rebecca, were gathered in the living room.

"Yagami Ryan!" Mayu said, holding the giggling baby above her head. "Yagami Ryan! Do you know how cute you are! You are so cute- Ah! He drooled on my face!"

L laughed and took Ryan as Mayu handed the child off. "He didn't mean to, did you Ryan?" L nuzzled the baby, who continued laughing. His son's expressions already resembled Light's…

"Why did you name him Ryan?" Mayu asked.

Light shrugged. "I wanted to name him after Taryn, and I thought 'Ryan' was kind of close."

Mayu frowned. "You only think that because you don't speak English very well…"

"I think that's very sweet!" Taryn said, looking as though she were about to become emotional. "And Mayu, shut up."

"I'm going to play with Rebecca," Mayu said, sitting on the floor next to the blonde two year old. She continued in a baby-talk voice, "Because baby Webecca can play without dwooling on people. Isn't that wight?"

"Mh hmm," the girl said. She was building a structure out of colorful blocks. "Mayu will play with me."

"See how articulate she already is?" Mayu said, petting the girl's silky hair.

"I'm so glad our children will be friends," Taryn said.

L sat on the couch, holding Ryan in his lap. "Perhaps some day these two will be married," he said. He held Ryan up in front of his face. "How would you feel about that?" He asked playfully.

"HAH!" Mayu snorted. "He'd feel lucky as all hell, if he looks anything like you! This girl is going to be a tall beautiful blonde like her mother. You can already see it. Look at her bone structure!"

"Maybe Ryan will look like Light," Taryn noted. Then she caught herself. "I mean not that uh…"

L scowled at her, then had her make up for it by holding Ryan while he helped Light in the kitchen.

Light and L looked out at their living room. Taryn was bouncing Ryan on her knee and Mayu was helping Rebecca with her block structure and cooing over how beautiful the girl's blonde hair was.

"I never thought I would be happy like this," L said.

Light wrapped his arms around him. "Neither did I."

"I grew up all alone, and as an adult I thought my personality made that impossible to change. But now, I have a family and I have friends… I have you…"

Light nodded. "I love you, Ryuzaki-chan." He pulled away. "Although I do feel that something is missing."

"What?" L asked, turning to face him.

"Well, I thought I would wait until you had more distance from the pregnancy experience, but… at some point I would like to try to have a daughter."

"What?" L asked, looking startled.

"You heard me," Light teased, embracing L from behind again. He playfully nipped at his ear. "I'd like to knock you up again."

L thought for a moment. "I wouldn't be opposed to it. In a couple years. I wonder if Taryn intends to have any more children. It would be fun to time our pregnancies together… but not for a couple years. I can't subject my body to such abuse yet."

Light grinned, and released L. They brought the remaining trays of hors d'oeuvers to the coffee table. L relieved Taryn of her baby holding duties, taking his son back and cradling him in his arms. Light smiled expressively at the baby, and allowed it to grasp his finger with its tiny hand.

"Taryn, do you think you will have any more children?" L asked, reaching for a cookie, and biting into it, careful not to shower his son with crumbs.

"Yes actually," Taryn said brightly. "I mean, not now but… In a couple years. Why do you ask?"

"Just curious," L said. But he looked up to see Mayu staring right at him.

Mayu rapidly recited a few words in French, much to quickly for Taryn, let alone Light, to understand. But L was fairly certain he caught the meaning correctly: "Maybe the next one can be named after me."

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><p><em>Thanks for reading. This chapter took a while even though the whole story was written before I started posting it; I just couldn't get around to doing my one read through. But this is for a good reason- I have been distracted writing 3 new stories, 2 of which are finished, all of which will begin posting soon. Hopefully tomorrow. Thanks for reading.<em>


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